Sarah Kopp

Yeah, so, but the funny thing is, because I was so oblivious to everything, I went straight home and showed him that flyer and I said, this is what she thinks is going on here.

Yeah.

What do you think, cunt?

And he obviously said, you know, you're never to go back there.

You know, she's just trying to break us apart, blah, blah, blah.

Don't trust her.

And so I never went back because I was so...

under his spell, I suppose.

Pretty much our whole marriage, except maybe the last 12 months, we eventually moved into our own place.

But mum was there throughout the whole thing.

Yeah, I've often sat and thought about when, I guess, I started feeling those feelings of walking on eggshells myself.

And I think probably around the age I was 17, I can remember some moments that I went, hmm.

This is the power dynamic, you know, that intimidating type behavior that started to make me shrink and tread carefully.

Yeah.

And I think, you know, years later when I was trying to get away and, I guess, protect myself and

I felt that was the biggest hurdle was trying to get people to think about the bigger picture of it and, you know, realize that a relationship that starts with such a huge power imbalance can't really change, you know, those foundations are set.

And yeah, I just think because I married him and people sort of overlooked all of those early years and just saw it as just a normal, equal relationship.

Yeah, it is so hard because, yeah, you're already, there's so much self-blame already, you know, where I really did think that I'd chosen all of this and, you know, it was my fault and I should have done more about it.

So then when you're, you know, you finally do get the courage to maybe tell someone or seek some help or whatever that is and they instantly are dismissive or, you know,

gaslight you I feel like you know I've had multiple urbanizations gaslight me but yeah it just instantly you're just like oh yeah you've got there's no sort of fight to to really push it too hard because you don't have that self-confidence about yourself either like