Sarah Wildman

Hannah was six when Orly was diagnosed and nine when she died. And the week after the shiva, we borrowed a friend's apartment in New York and she started hysterically crying on the street one night. And we said, what's happening for you now? What are you feeling? And she said she was so angry with God. She was worried she'd be punished.

Hannah was six when Orly was diagnosed and nine when she died. And the week after the shiva, we borrowed a friend's apartment in New York and she started hysterically crying on the street one night. And we said, what's happening for you now? What are you feeling? And she said she was so angry with God. She was worried she'd be punished.

Hannah was six when Orly was diagnosed and nine when she died. And the week after the shiva, we borrowed a friend's apartment in New York and she started hysterically crying on the street one night. And we said, what's happening for you now? What are you feeling? And she said she was so angry with God. She was worried she'd be punished.

She was worried that there would be some sort of consequence of this anger. And we ended up calling up one of our rabbis and saying, let's talk to Hannah about this idea. And the rabbi said, Hannah, we are all angry with God about losing Orly. And in fact, in Jewish tradition, there's a lot of anger with God. It's not very strange to be angry with God. But sometimes Hannah will get very upset.

She was worried that there would be some sort of consequence of this anger. And we ended up calling up one of our rabbis and saying, let's talk to Hannah about this idea. And the rabbi said, Hannah, we are all angry with God about losing Orly. And in fact, in Jewish tradition, there's a lot of anger with God. It's not very strange to be angry with God. But sometimes Hannah will get very upset.

She was worried that there would be some sort of consequence of this anger. And we ended up calling up one of our rabbis and saying, let's talk to Hannah about this idea. And the rabbi said, Hannah, we are all angry with God about losing Orly. And in fact, in Jewish tradition, there's a lot of anger with God. It's not very strange to be angry with God. But sometimes Hannah will get very upset.

She really does not know how to have any relationship with God right now. And she's very, very angry that God could have taken away someone as young, someone as vital, someone as important as Orly.

She really does not know how to have any relationship with God right now. And she's very, very angry that God could have taken away someone as young, someone as vital, someone as important as Orly.

She really does not know how to have any relationship with God right now. And she's very, very angry that God could have taken away someone as young, someone as vital, someone as important as Orly.

So Jewish morning practices, many people know, you bury immediately. You have a week-long shiva, a period of time where people come to you and you're not supposed to cook or do anything. All that's the same. Everybody's supposed to do it for you. And you're not supposed to look in a mirror. I didn't do that. I did look in the mirror. You aren't supposed to make your own food.

So Jewish morning practices, many people know, you bury immediately. You have a week-long shiva, a period of time where people come to you and you're not supposed to cook or do anything. All that's the same. Everybody's supposed to do it for you. And you're not supposed to look in a mirror. I didn't do that. I did look in the mirror. You aren't supposed to make your own food.

So Jewish morning practices, many people know, you bury immediately. You have a week-long shiva, a period of time where people come to you and you're not supposed to cook or do anything. All that's the same. Everybody's supposed to do it for you. And you're not supposed to look in a mirror. I didn't do that. I did look in the mirror. You aren't supposed to make your own food.

Everything's brought to you. And you sit. You just really sit low. And every single day, the entire community is supposed to surround you. And then you emerge out of that and you have a 30-day period of of mourning, and then you emerge out of that.

Everything's brought to you. And you sit. You just really sit low. And every single day, the entire community is supposed to surround you. And then you emerge out of that and you have a 30-day period of of mourning, and then you emerge out of that.

Everything's brought to you. And you sit. You just really sit low. And every single day, the entire community is supposed to surround you. And then you emerge out of that and you have a 30-day period of of mourning, and then you emerge out of that.

And if you're a child mourning a parent, you then have a whole following year where every single day for 11 months, you stand up and you say the mourner's prayer, the mourner's Kaddish. If you lose a child, all the mourning rituals end at 30 days. There's If you lose a parent, you're not supposed to attend a wedding, to go to a concert. You're not supposed to attend a joyful dinner.

And if you're a child mourning a parent, you then have a whole following year where every single day for 11 months, you stand up and you say the mourner's prayer, the mourner's Kaddish. If you lose a child, all the mourning rituals end at 30 days. There's If you lose a parent, you're not supposed to attend a wedding, to go to a concert. You're not supposed to attend a joyful dinner.

And if you're a child mourning a parent, you then have a whole following year where every single day for 11 months, you stand up and you say the mourner's prayer, the mourner's Kaddish. If you lose a child, all the mourning rituals end at 30 days. There's If you lose a parent, you're not supposed to attend a wedding, to go to a concert. You're not supposed to attend a joyful dinner.

You're not supposed to incur joy in some way. You're not supposed to go out of your way to do something that's particularly delightful unless it has to do with your work. As a parent who's lost a child, you can do whatever you want. I found this fascinating. Completely destabilizing. I wanted them to tell me that I needed a policy of abnegation.

You're not supposed to incur joy in some way. You're not supposed to go out of your way to do something that's particularly delightful unless it has to do with your work. As a parent who's lost a child, you can do whatever you want. I found this fascinating. Completely destabilizing. I wanted them to tell me that I needed a policy of abnegation.