Satori Shakur

And then nine months later, my husband calls and asks, was I sitting down?

And he told me that our son had died an hour before from a massive seizure, that it was quick, and that he felt no pain.

Well, I didn't hear anything else because I died.

I died right there.

And after crawling for six years on my hands and knees through a place of grief so dark God couldn't even reach,

Finally, I was ready to live again, to connect with my life.

And I'm running out of money.

There's not a theater job in sight.

I got to move in two weeks.

I need a job.

But I don't want a job.

I want to do what I love to do for the rest of my life.

So I'm sitting there immobilized with fear and indecision, scared because there's no jobs, scared that I'm not looking for a job, and scared that if I look hard enough, I might find one.

It's not that I don't want to work.

I just don't want to work for anybody that would hire me.

Well, fear will test anybody's faith.

And I was so scared, I started applying for jobs everywhere.

Non-union acting jobs, Walmart, US truck driving school, script supervisor on a CC Dynamite porno film.

Craigslist was the only thing giving me hope.

Nobody called me back for an interview except Macy's.