Satori Shakur

Now Macy's want to do a background check, they want to do a drug test, fine.

But Macy's just needed to know two things.

I'm menopausal, and don't put me in customer service.

Well, my gym is right next door, so after my workout, I realized I forgot my makeup and the shoes that go with my outfit.

So I said, okay, well, I'll buy a pair of shoes in Macy's, then take them back after the interview.

I can't afford $59 for some cheap shoes, and I'm plotting to take the rug route so the bottoms don't get dirty because I don't want no mess when I go to get my money back.

Well, a guy brings me the shoes.

I can't even get my toe in.

That's when I have a mood-swinging snap on the guy.

I said, look, these corporations are going to ship the shoe jobs overseas.

They need to ship them to a country that knows something about big feet.

And I stormed out of the shoe department.

And that's when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

I'm looking militant.

I'm looking like a cross between Cornel West and Lil Wayne.

Nobody's gonna hire me looking like this.

So I got 10 minutes and I rushed to the makeup counter to put on some lipstick to fix it.

Now the lighting is bad, so I got to take the makeup girl's word for it.

She's like, you look good in that color.

So I'm going up the escalator, nothing but pure light and mirrors.