Satori Shakur

I look like a cross between Cornel West and Lil Wayne with black lipstick.

I mean, she lied to me with her purple hair.

Now I'm walking through the doors of personnel looking like something out of Predator 2.

The little guy that's interviewing me looked like he's almost 13.

I apologize for my gym shoes, and we sit down and start the interview process.

Now, he asked me, is it ever okay to steal from your employer?

I'm thinking, is this part of the drug test?

I mean, because who in their right mind going to say yeah?

And then he proceeds to ask me more questions just as stupid as that.

So finally, I said, well, I'm a grandmother.

I can do anything.

How much does this job pay?

So he said, well, it's an on-call job, and it pays $7.40 an hour.

I'm thinking, $7.40 an hour?

You mean to tell me Macy's can't kick in another dime so I can get almost two gallons of gas to get to work?

Then he asked me, do I have any conflicts?

I'm thinking, I'm conflicted I'm even here.

I'm conflicted I would have to work eight whole hours to pay for them cheap shoes downstairs, and I'm a conflict away from walking out of here.

But I don't say that because I'm broke.

I just smile and say, no, no, I don't have any conflicts.