Scott Alexander

This has also informed my opinion on all those blog posts where people say it's the fault of the feminized longhouse matriarchy that girls outperform boys in elementary school.

I now think we'll discover their long-sought boy-friendly teaching methods around the same time we finally eliminate the bro-culture that prevents women from winning exactly 50% of physics nobels.

The biggest emergency of all is bedtime.

It must be approached cautiously, even obliquely.

We start with a 10 minutes to bedtime warning, then a 5 minute warning, then a 1 minute warning, all of which are totally ignored.

Then a 10 second countdown.

The moment the countdown starts, Kai runs to the table and screams MY FOOD because he knows where Softie's and won't let him go to bed hungry.

It doesn't matter if he ate five minutes ago, he needs more food now.

Come on, come on, you wouldn't let me spend the whole night locked in my dark crib starving, would you?

Would you?

So we let him have some more food, which he eats as slowly as possible, until I finally get tired of this and forcibly carry him to bed.

The whole time he screams, my food, my food, like a demented leprechaun being dragged away from his lucky charms.

Here's a picture of the kids sitting on a staircase in their pyjamas, both of them have a little bowl of food, and they both look pretty pleased with themselves.

Scott captions it, eating a snack.

Next, I take him into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

I put toothpaste on the brush.

More, he demands.

I add more toothpaste.

More, he demands.

We go through this cycle about five times.