Scott Alexander

If I actually added more toothpaste each time, the brush would be enveloped in a giant glob of goo.

But after the second time, I just fake it, and he never notices.

Next is diaper change time, a transition announced by Kai shouting, No diaper change!

This has never worked, not even once.

It often does the opposite of working, because sometimes we'll be playing outside or something, and Kai will, apropos of nothing, announce, No diaper change!

And then I'll know he needs a diaper change.

I will placate him by playing his favourite song during the diaper change, for ten seconds, until he changes his mind and gets a different favourite song, and so on until we're done.

Next is lulling time.

I will quietly rock him in the rocking chair.

Sometimes I will tell him about his day.

The day we went to the zoo and saw the animals.

Wasn't that fun?

He will drink his cup of milk.

Finally, I will tell him that it is time to go to sleep.

No, my milk!

He will shout, so I'll give him more time to drink his cup of milk.

We'll go through this process at least three or four times.

At least, we used to.

Last night, I happened to pick up his cup after a few seconds and realised it was already empty.

He drinks all the milk basically immediately.