Sean Langan

stand up politely, say good morning, assalamu alaikum, peace be upon you, when they came in.

And that was my way straight away to get through this, was to try and not be killed and to bond with my captains.

Because as he says, It's not going to help you survive.

And in fact, a few things happened.

My fixer went the other way.

He had a mental breakdown.

He was sure we would be killed.

And he fell apart very quickly.

Now, where that was ironically a help to me is, you know, if you're with mates when you're young, if a mate's very drunk or puking up or losing, it actually sobers you up.

Well, having my cellmate fix a translator, a good friend, have a

mental and physical breakdown you know when he lost hope and faith his body went very quickly that helped me anyway that helped me just become that forced me to be the strong one and to keep him in shape and to force him to exercise and wash

And so that was actually a fortunate thing.

It helped me because I didn't have time to think about my being beheaded or fear of not seeing my kids.

The other thing, funnily enough, you put out your head like an execution of your children and you become very good at cauterizing emotions.

So I wouldn't think about the possibility of being beheaded.

At the same time, I had two photos I'd hidden from the Taliban.

I kept them hidden in my boots of my children.

If I looked at my children, one minute filled me with hope.

If I carried on looking, it broke me.

Like more than a minute, it would almost break me and I start crying.