Sebastian Junger

I just sort of emotionally flatline.

I get super rational and just zero Kelvin like nothing, which is kind of a good place to be because it's not escalatory.

But I've come to find out that's also exceedingly provocative to do to someone who's upset.

Yeah, and they think that your non-response means you don't care.

And then you're just so screwed.

And I think I'm doing the relationship a favor by...

I was like, somebody's got to stay sane in this room, right?

Or it's going to – the cops are getting – whatever.

So I'm like, all right, I'm going to flatline.

The only way to do this because you're making me really angry right now is to flatline and feel nothing.

I'm going to do us a favor by doing that.

I'll be super rational and calm and blah, blah, blah.

But I didn't realize like that's completely inflammatory also in a different way.

So there really isn't a good choice until that person figures out how to emotionally regulate themselves.

I knew a guy who was – I won't name him.

His older brother – they're both sort of pretty well-known writers and his older brother was in a bad relationship of that sort.

And they were walking through – I think it was Paris.

They were visiting Paris and all their stuff was at the hotel.

This is before cell phones.

This is in like the early 90s, late 80s, something like that.