Sebastian Junger

Like that you're dead.

Like what, is there anything bigger to panic about that you're actually dead?

Right.

So, and the problem, the reason I had that, and this gets to another rather mysterious, slightly woo woo part of this whole story is that two days prior, you know, I had no idea, obviously that I had something that was going to kill me in my abdomen.

Um,

I had no conscious idea.

But two days prior, at dawn, my family and I, we still co-sleep.

And so we sleep in a group on a pad on the floor.

And we sleep as a family, the four of us.

And so at dawn on the previous night, so 36 hours prior to almost dying, I was woken by this horrific nightmare, the worst nightmare I've ever had and I've ever heard of.

And the nightmare was this.

that I was hovering above my family and they were crying in grief

And I was waving to them.

They were crying in grief that I died.

And I was waving to them.

I was like, I'm over here.

I'm right here.

I was shouting.

I was waving my arms.

And they couldn't hear me.