Shade Zahrai

Where are you placing control in your life?

Do you believe that you have some degree of control in shaping your path?

Or do you feel like it's out of your hands?

It's determined by luck, fate, powerful others, the government.

Because whether you believe that you have some degree of control or you don't shapes how powerful you feel and shapes the kind of choices that you make or don't make.

Because if you feel powerless, you suddenly stop making choices and then nothing changes.

Internal is where we believe we shape our path.

Of course, acknowledging there are things that we cannot control, like the weather, like the injustice on the other side of the world, but we know we can control our thoughts, our behaviors, our responses, how we show up in the world.

So that's the third.

Then the fourth is what's called emotional stability, which is your ability to manage your emotions.

How you see yourself across these four things.

Bear in mind, it's not objective.

So it's not objectively like how well you can achieve your goals or how well you manage your emotions.

It's how you see it.

So it's perception.

These things determine your self image, your core self evaluation.

Now, I think a lot of the time, because these are based, this is a personality trait or a collection of personality traits formed early on, very stable across the lifespan.

So I think when people have come at it from the perspective of this is personality related, the response is, oh, then I guess it's just who I am.

I can't change it.

Because people think personality is something that you are stuck with forever.