Shade Zahrai

confidence and your degree of trust in yourself whether you can trust yourself comes down to the how you see yourself part do you see yourself as someone who is worthy who is capable who can make choices in your life who can manage the emotions that come with difficult things because if you don't see yourself as those things then you fundamentally do not trust yourself and you can't fake your way to trust

so when we look at how you see yourself it really comes down to recognizing that there are four drivers of how we see ourselves which is fascinating as well because a lot of the time we talk about this concept of self-image your self-image is your blueprint for how you live your life and most people acknowledge yes that is accurate but what makes up your self-image different people have different views on that when we look at all this literature and this research there are four things when they converge

They create what's called your core self evaluations, your deepest view of how you see yourself.

So let's unpack these four things and then I'll share with you why I think it hasn't become more widely spread, more well known.

Yeah, thanks, I'm getting the words mixed up.

So the very first one relates to self-esteem.

How do you view yourself in terms of your worthiness?

Do you feel like you're enough?

Do you feel like you're a value?

And again, it's shaped very early on in our lives.

If you felt like you received emotional validation as a kid, you generally have a higher level of self-esteem.

If you felt like you didn't need to perform or get the best grades in order to be celebrated by your parents, you develop a high sense of self-esteem.

If you did feel like you needed to get the grades or perform really well or be the top in your whatever to get your parents to pay attention to you, you start to equate your value to your performance.

From a very early age, I must perform and be perfect to be loved.

And that creates a sense of self-esteem as adults, which often just reinforces those early patterns.

So that's the first one.

The second one is self-efficacy.

Self-efficacy is the belief that you can do the thing, which means you have the skills, the abilities, the resources to set a goal and achieve the goal.

Really important.

The third one is what's called locus of control, which refers to, you know, locus comes from the Latin loci, which means location.