Shade Zahrai

Thank you for making me aware.

Totally.

I know.

Keep it coming.

Well, that's the thing, right?

So, again, what you see is all there is.

We see that moment, or rather, that person has seen us pop up, and it has triggered something so deeply in them that they feel compelled to leave hate.

so you just have to think okay in that moment what we see is or what they saw was something that pop up and they made all these assumptions what we saw was their response to that which is a mean comment but there's probably so much else going on for that person for anyone to feel compelled to be hateful in real life it generally reflects

a lot of insecurity a lot of self-hatred schadenfreude which is wanting to point out other people's flaws and seeing them fail so having compassion is one of the best approaches it's really hard to do in practice because when we receive some kind of a criticism the reason why it can hurt so much is because deep down we already believe that about ourselves

So if I were to say to you, Max, your third arm is disgusting.

That arm sticking out right there is disgusting.

How do you feel about that?

No, because you don't have a third arm.

It's not the way that you are.

Yet when it comes to comments or criticism or negative feedback that we internalize, we only internalize it when we deep down believe that about us.

And usually it reflects one of these four perceptions, a lack or a weakness in one of these four attributes.

So that's really important to be aware of.

And what can be helpful in those moments is firstly, remind yourself, I don't have to accept everything that's coming my way, right?

The other thing you can do, especially if you're on social media is you have the choice to engage with the person.

Sometimes it's worth your energy to kind of go back and forth and turn them around and then they become the most lovely people ever.