Shadoe Stevens

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You'll see he had a VHS camera, so he was videotaping Fear and Loathing and Big Sur. And we're in the van on the way, and I'm amped. And you'll see it. It's funny and crazy as can be. And then it, there's a point in the video that shows, and then he went into rehab because it was like clearly out of control. But I mean, I was using, I lived in Malibu Canyon and I used into convulsions regularly.

You'll see he had a VHS camera, so he was videotaping Fear and Loathing and Big Sur. And we're in the van on the way, and I'm amped. And you'll see it. It's funny and crazy as can be. And then it, there's a point in the video that shows, and then he went into rehab because it was like clearly out of control. But I mean, I was using, I lived in Malibu Canyon and I used into convulsions regularly.

You'll see he had a VHS camera, so he was videotaping Fear and Loathing and Big Sur. And we're in the van on the way, and I'm amped. And you'll see it. It's funny and crazy as can be. And then it, there's a point in the video that shows, and then he went into rehab because it was like clearly out of control. But I mean, I was using, I lived in Malibu Canyon and I used into convulsions regularly.

I had guns because I thought people were trying to kill me. I could hear, I could hear whispers outside the window, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And I put sheets over the windows and the doors. And I put quilts over the sheets and the windows and the doors because you can see silhouettes through sheets. And then I realized you can see around the cracks around quilts.

I had guns because I thought people were trying to kill me. I could hear, I could hear whispers outside the window, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And I put sheets over the windows and the doors. And I put quilts over the sheets and the windows and the doors because you can see silhouettes through sheets. And then I realized you can see around the cracks around quilts.

I had guns because I thought people were trying to kill me. I could hear, I could hear whispers outside the window, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And I put sheets over the windows and the doors. And I put quilts over the sheets and the windows and the doors because you can see silhouettes through sheets. And then I realized you can see around the cracks around quilts.

So I put nails at one-inch intervals. And I sat with my 12-gauge short barrel double-odd buck. And I thought, either there's somebody out there or I've gone insane. I need to confront my destiny. And I went outside and I sat beneath the window with my 12-gauge and waited. And I heard a rustle in the bush. And then I jumped up screaming, No, you die, mother... And I chased them through the brush.

So I put nails at one-inch intervals. And I sat with my 12-gauge short barrel double-odd buck. And I thought, either there's somebody out there or I've gone insane. I need to confront my destiny. And I went outside and I sat beneath the window with my 12-gauge and waited. And I heard a rustle in the bush. And then I jumped up screaming, No, you die, mother... And I chased them through the brush.

So I put nails at one-inch intervals. And I sat with my 12-gauge short barrel double-odd buck. And I thought, either there's somebody out there or I've gone insane. I need to confront my destiny. And I went outside and I sat beneath the window with my 12-gauge and waited. And I heard a rustle in the bush. And then I jumped up screaming, No, you die, mother... And I chased them through the brush.

And they got away. So I went back to the bathroom to celebrate. Locked the door. Put the towel under the door. Ran the tub. Had another hit. And then rocked back on the floor in convulsions. And when I came to, I thought, I should take a breather. Not I should stop, I mean, because stopping wasn't clearly an option. When I got a... My doctor saw me and...

And they got away. So I went back to the bathroom to celebrate. Locked the door. Put the towel under the door. Ran the tub. Had another hit. And then rocked back on the floor in convulsions. And when I came to, I thought, I should take a breather. Not I should stop, I mean, because stopping wasn't clearly an option. When I got a... My doctor saw me and...

And they got away. So I went back to the bathroom to celebrate. Locked the door. Put the towel under the door. Ran the tub. Had another hit. And then rocked back on the floor in convulsions. And when I came to, I thought, I should take a breather. Not I should stop, I mean, because stopping wasn't clearly an option. When I got a... My doctor saw me and...

And I had a physical and he said, if you're lucky, you're going to die. I don't think you're going to die. I think you're going to have a heart attack or a stroke any minute. And you've got to stop or you're going to lose your ability to talk. You're going to lose the left side of your body. Something awful is going to happen any minute. And you got to stop.

And I had a physical and he said, if you're lucky, you're going to die. I don't think you're going to die. I think you're going to have a heart attack or a stroke any minute. And you've got to stop or you're going to lose your ability to talk. You're going to lose the left side of your body. Something awful is going to happen any minute. And you got to stop.

And I had a physical and he said, if you're lucky, you're going to die. I don't think you're going to die. I think you're going to have a heart attack or a stroke any minute. And you've got to stop or you're going to lose your ability to talk. You're going to lose the left side of your body. Something awful is going to happen any minute. And you got to stop.

And I knew he was right, but I couldn't. I was humiliated. I was so ashamed of what had become of me. I thought, I'm insane. What's wrong with me? I can't do that. And I didn't. So countless convulsions later, I had an overdose in my studio. And my guys that worked for me came and found me at 4 in the morning, and they got afraid.

And I knew he was right, but I couldn't. I was humiliated. I was so ashamed of what had become of me. I thought, I'm insane. What's wrong with me? I can't do that. And I didn't. So countless convulsions later, I had an overdose in my studio. And my guys that worked for me came and found me at 4 in the morning, and they got afraid.

And I knew he was right, but I couldn't. I was humiliated. I was so ashamed of what had become of me. I thought, I'm insane. What's wrong with me? I can't do that. And I didn't. So countless convulsions later, I had an overdose in my studio. And my guys that worked for me came and found me at 4 in the morning, and they got afraid.

And they called my family, and my family ganged up on me and talked me into going into recovery. I went to Betty Ford, and there was no room. So they said, come back in a few weeks. I went, please, come back in a few weeks. No. And they said, well, let's make a call. And they found me a... a room in Scripps in La Jolla. And that's where I went. Worst day of my life.