Shankar Vedantam

I mean, so the idea, of course, is that you might have bonds in your portfolio and they don't do very well and they don't grow a lot, but they're very stable.

And then you might have some stocks in your portfolio that are high growth, but they also have the potential for losing a lot.

And what you're suggesting is that by having different things accomplish different parts of what you need, your portfolio as a whole ends up being more stable than if you put all your eggs in one basket.

Now, for people to actually consider diversifying their portfolio romantically and emotionally, presumably this also creates stresses on what we think of as marriage.

So if people are looking outside the marriage for emotional support or other needs, some people are going to say, well, are you really married anymore?

You say that you and your wife, Alison, have developed a shorthand of sorts for the times you want to communicate affection but are starved of time.

And it has to do with this song.

Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl, but she doesn't have a lot to say Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl, but she changes from day to day

That's Paul McCartney at the end of the Abbey Road medley.

Eli Finkel is a social psychologist at Northwestern University.

He's the author of The All or Nothing Marriage, How the Best Marriages Work.

Eli, thank you so much for joining me today on Hidden Brain.

Thank you so much for having me.

Do you have a personal story to share about a long-term relationship in your own life that has gone very well or gone very badly?

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use the subject line marriage.

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After the break, your questions answered.