Shankar Vedantam

You might need two people.

And this speaks to the story you just told me.

This guy is in trouble.

He's basically speaking to a parole officer, and he's referring the parole officer to someone who was in his very distant past because that's the person his mind gravitates toward.

You say that it's also possible for us to intentionally set out to make others in our lives feel like they matter.

If we are parents or teachers, for example, we can engage in what you call micro-practices that promote mattering in children.

What are these practices?

So in addition to our role as parents and teachers, you say that as leaders of all kinds, as managers or coaches, we can help others feel like they matter.

And you tell a story about the famous football coach, Vince Lombardi.

Tell me that story.

You say that as people going about our lives, we have endless opportunities to offer a sense of mattering to the people we meet.

I understand that your brother once met a very famous person who took the time to make him feel like he mattered.

Tell me that story.

Gordon Flett is a psychologist at York University in Canada.

He's the author of The Psychology of Mattering, Understanding the Human Need to be Significant.

Gord, thank you so much for joining me today on Hidden Brain.

Thank you.

Have you experienced a moment in your life when you felt profoundly invisible?

Have you found a way to not feel invisible or to help others feel seen?

If you have a story or a question you would like to share with the Hidden Brain audience, please find a very quiet room and record a voice memo on your phone.