Shannon Curry

And then if men are feeling more criticized, that they tend to stonewall and it becomes this vicious cycle of then more criticism, but the criticism is

Really just a plea to be loved and get your partner to show you they care.

And then the man tends to feel like he can't do anything right.

This isn't even productive.

If I say anything, I'm just going to make it worse.

And they don't have any real, you haven't given them a specific need, a solution, something they can do to shine for you.

So they turn away.

All right, so contempt is criticism on steroids.

This is what John Gottman calls sulfuric acid for love.

Nothing will erode a relationship quicker than contempt.

Contempt is when you are looking at your partner from a superior position.

You are eye-rolling.

You are name-calling.

There's a mockery, mocking, even physical mockery, imitating them, imitating their voice.

Contempt is meant to just take the legs out from your partner, make them feel pathetic, ridiculous.

And it can be abusive.

But most people have engaged in contempt at some point in their relationship.

Lower level would be sort of the eye-rolling.

But that is the biggest predictor of a split.

Sure is.