Shannon Curry

Hey, you want to come with me?

It could be telling a joke and hoping that your wife looks up from her email on the computer and acknowledges it.

If she laughs, then you've got a positive.

But if I don't even look up, that's a negative, right?

So it's not necessarily that I'm calling my husband an asshole.

It's just, am I connecting with him?

Am I meeting those bids for connection and vice versa?

Well, I think what's really important is actually asking your partner or paying attention to what your partner's bids are because what matters to Ty, my husband, may not matter to you.

For instance, I mean, Ty's bar is so low with me.

Right.

He just wants me to ask him if he wants a water when I get up to get myself one.

Just be a basic, decent, considerate person is all he asks of me.

Whereas mine might be sort of like stay up later with me, watch a show, go to bed at the same time as me or know about the people in my life.

That's sort of a thing.

And that- I actually thought that after I sent it, but I feel that most of the day.

Any interaction, like, oh God, I just exposed myself.

But absolutely, I was excited to be here and I didn't want you to think that I didn't care.

I think being a therapist has shown me that it really...

It's so lucky to be in that position because you meet people that you would have thought are cooler than you or smarter than you or just somehow impervious to life.

And you realize that we are all in it together.