Shi Heng Yi

So meaning also I had to restructure the temple that I was building up for many, many years.

Like a lot of conflict started to happen.

There I needed to interfere again.

So what I literally saw in front of my eyes was that everything I started building up in a way started to crumble.

From the inside, it started to crumble.

Then many other incidents also happened that literally put in front of my eyes, no matter what you're building up, it can be done like this.

Very quick.

Also, I don't want to make it too big, but...

In the same way of when I was following some martial art practitioners, martial art masters, I always thought like this.

So when I would follow you with everything that you are teaching me and you would be, let's say, my master.

So the best that can happen to me is that I'm actually going to become you.

I'm going to become you if I follow all your advice exactly in the way of what you're telling me.

And just like this, I also thought about all the teachers, all the masters that I had in my life and was then asking, so if I follow this path longer, I'm going to be this.

If I follow that path, I'm going to be him.

So it's all been done already.

So that means my inner urge of like staying with one teacher, for example, also was not fulfilling anymore.

And ultimately what I then started realizing, okay, everything on the outside just started to be so, I don't know how to say, meaningless.

Outside was very meaningless for me.

And then I can't tell you why, but it just happened to be like this, that despite everything that was going on on the outside, I just then had my time or took my time to just be with myself.

Not being distracted too much anymore about the outside.