Simon Rex

Oh, classic.

Oh, classic.

Oh, classic.

I remember when I first moved here, getting out of the cab. The cab was $45. I was staying at my mom's friends in Brooklyn for the first couple nights because I didn't know anyone or whatever. And she hated this, too. You know, you're barging into someone's New York life. People in New York are already scraping by. And then I'm like, hey, I'm 22, here to do stand-up comedy. But whatever.

I remember when I first moved here, getting out of the cab. The cab was $45. I was staying at my mom's friends in Brooklyn for the first couple nights because I didn't know anyone or whatever. And she hated this, too. You know, you're barging into someone's New York life. People in New York are already scraping by. And then I'm like, hey, I'm 22, here to do stand-up comedy. But whatever.

I remember when I first moved here, getting out of the cab. The cab was $45. I was staying at my mom's friends in Brooklyn for the first couple nights because I didn't know anyone or whatever. And she hated this, too. You know, you're barging into someone's New York life. People in New York are already scraping by. And then I'm like, hey, I'm 22, here to do stand-up comedy. But whatever.

So all I had was three 20s. And I remember giving it to the cabbie and I went...

So all I had was three 20s. And I remember giving it to the cabbie and I went...

So all I had was three 20s. And I remember giving it to the cabbie and I went...

uh it's 45 i got 320s he goes all right thank you and i was like huh and he just took the money and i was that was out of money then that was all i had that was it yeah because i worked $15 tip i worked a restaurant that's that's a fucking hilarious scene in the movie though yoink yoinked me and i he was like well you got a tip but i was like i guess you got a tip he could have given you a 10 it'd be nice a big tip give him a $15 tip i was i was i was a hayseed i was a rube i was a southern you could tell hard yeah you could feel it on me you weren't fucking overalls

uh it's 45 i got 320s he goes all right thank you and i was like huh and he just took the money and i was that was out of money then that was all i had that was it yeah because i worked $15 tip i worked a restaurant that's that's a fucking hilarious scene in the movie though yoink yoinked me and i he was like well you got a tip but i was like i guess you got a tip he could have given you a 10 it'd be nice a big tip give him a $15 tip i was i was i was a hayseed i was a rube i was a southern you could tell hard yeah you could feel it on me you weren't fucking overalls

uh it's 45 i got 320s he goes all right thank you and i was like huh and he just took the money and i was that was out of money then that was all i had that was it yeah because i worked $15 tip i worked a restaurant that's that's a fucking hilarious scene in the movie though yoink yoinked me and i he was like well you got a tip but i was like i guess you got a tip he could have given you a 10 it'd be nice a big tip give him a $15 tip i was i was i was a hayseed i was a rube i was a southern you could tell hard yeah you could feel it on me you weren't fucking overalls

A little straw in your mouth. I got the bag with the stick on it.

A little straw in your mouth. I got the bag with the stick on it.

A little straw in your mouth. I got the bag with the stick on it.

I grew up in the city, so we don't really have one. We say y'all. Yeah. And we say, we take our T-H's and do a D. How's your mom and them? That's a big New Orleans thing.

I grew up in the city, so we don't really have one. We say y'all. Yeah. And we say, we take our T-H's and do a D. How's your mom and them? That's a big New Orleans thing.

I grew up in the city, so we don't really have one. We say y'all. Yeah. And we say, we take our T-H's and do a D. How's your mom and them? That's a big New Orleans thing.

It got purchased. That's true. But then I moved to Crown Heights. Landlord died of AIDS. Yeah. Got mugged immediately. And I lived as a Jewish side, Hasidic Jew and a Caribbean black. One big highway going down the middle, and I lived on the black side. So all the black guys thought I was Jewish. They were like, you're on the wrong side, motherfucker.

It got purchased. That's true. But then I moved to Crown Heights. Landlord died of AIDS. Yeah. Got mugged immediately. And I lived as a Jewish side, Hasidic Jew and a Caribbean black. One big highway going down the middle, and I lived on the black side. So all the black guys thought I was Jewish. They were like, you're on the wrong side, motherfucker.