Simone Stolzoff

What a tragedy.

And the farmer says, maybe yes, maybe no.

The next day, generals from the military come by the village to conscript people, to draft people into the war.

And because the son has broken his leg, he gets out of the draft.

And the neighbors say, you're so lucky this time you can join me.

The farmer says, maybe yes.

may be known.

And I think that equanimity, that resistance of wanting to know exactly how a particular event will shape our lives is an incredibly empowered and, dare I say, agentic way to live.

It allows you to be in the present moment.

When we are trying to control, we are thinking about the future in a way that we don't have the power to control or to plan.

When we are trying to think about

exactly how our career or our relationship or our personal life will go, we become more brittle.

We become less adaptive.

We become less open to seeing the world as it is, as opposed to how we wish it to be.

I don't think there's anything wrong with planning or having goals or having a bucket list or desiring things from your life.

So as long as you're not white knuckle gripping those accomplishments to the point where you're not allowing yourself to actually be present in the life that you're currently living.

One of the things that I like to think about is the serenity prayer.

God grant me the serenity to recognize what I can control and what I can't control and the wisdom to know the difference.

So when it comes to dating, what can you control?

You can control the amount that you're putting yourself out there.