Simone Stolzoff

know the things I can control, know the things I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference.

That's the piece of advice I always give for people who are anxious or worrying about something that hasn't come to pass yet is step one, separate what you can and can't control.

Step two, think about how you might be able to plan for different possible outcomes as opposed to being fixed on one particular vision of how the future might go.

And then step three, accept that you might not be able to control all outcomes and try to regulate your nervous system.

Do what you can to be able to be okay with not knowing.

Where does planning become a control addiction?

when there's diminishing returns to the information that you're gathering.

So in the beginning of information gathering, you may learn some new perspectives, you may be able to think about a problem in a different way, but at a certain point, you can see that productivity start to level off.

So one example from my life, I was once deciding between taking a job at this prestigious magazine or at this design firm.

And I couldn't make up my mind for the life of me.

I had these sort of two job offers in front of me.

And on one path, there was Simone the journalist.

On the other path, there was Simone the designer.

And I was insufferable.

For like weeks, I flip-flopped.

I talked to my Uber driver about it.

I talked to my yoga teacher, every friend in my life, all my family members.

And the thing is, I was looking for certainty about a decision where there was no certainty to be found.

I thought that if I just banged my head against the wall at the right angle, then I could control exactly what my future would look like.

And the truth is, with a decision like that at a crossroads, there's some level of trust of having to make a decision in spite of not knowing that you need to be able to do if you want to be a human in this world.