Simone Stolzoff

We think about the benefits of all of these jobs, but every job has a trade-off.

You can work on Wall Street, you make a lot of money, really long hours.

It may not be meaningful.

You can work at a homeless shelter and it can be incredibly meaningful, but maybe it doesn't allow you to pay for the life that you want to live.

All of these decisions are about trade-offs.

And so coming back to the very first situation that we started this conversation about, this couple deciding whether or not they want to get divorced, talking to this love expert, John Gottman, he basically said, when you're in indecision about relationships, the most important thing is you have to know thyself.

And if you know yourself, then you'll be able to handle all manner of slings and arrows that might come your way.

I talked to another ethicist who was talking about making decisions when you have uncertainty.

And he said, I always ask three questions.

What do you want?

Do you want to want that thing?

And what does that decision say about who you are?

When we're in these indecisive places, we want to make decisions that we can stand by as people, that reinforce the type of people that we want to be in the world.

And coming back to my own job decision about the design firm versus the journalism job,

I decided to say yes to the design firm.

And in that moment, I had this incredible sense of self-doubt.

Did I make the wrong choice?

Is the journalism industry going to blacklist me forever?

Have I done something horrible?

I went from this place where I had all these options open to me to foreclosing on those options.