Siobhan McSweeney

And some people, when they hear the word apple, they don't see an apple.

No, some people, no, genuinely, they don't, their imagination doesn't see images.

It sees the words.

Oh, synesthesia or something.

It has changed over the years.

What you've just said there has reminded me of something because my mom used to talk to herself and I'd be like, mom, you're doing it.

And she was like, don't worry.

If I start answering myself back, that's when I'm mad.

I think, you're long gone, right?

I think my internal monologue is much kinder now than it used to be.

I have one internal monologue, which I remember from a child, which is sort of making up funny stories and encounters or running a scenario over in my head so that I'd start giggling maniacally to myself or whatever.

That's a nice little sort of thing that I'm running through.

And then there's the sort of bad talking to myself, which, of course, we all do and blah, blah, blah.

I have gotten much better, much better at telling that to shut up.

And I even sort of say nice things about myself in my head.

So up until Friday, dear listener, I finished filming Amanda Land and then went off and did a play in the evening.

And I had been doing that for quite a while.

And so like I allowed myself, I was like, well done, Siobhan.

well done, you did the best you could and it might be good and well done for all that hard work.

And that is the idea of me saying that to myself five years ago is insane.