Sonja Lyubomirsky

speaker

1,409 appearances 3 recordings 3 series first heard Feb 2026 last heard 25 Jun

Sonja Lyubomirsky’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 3 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 1.

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Modern Wisdom · Why Nobody Feels Loved Anymore - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115 · 25 Jun 2026 podcast

So it's not really unhappiness that drives them back to connection.

It's not feeling loved or feeling lonely, which actually is very similar to feeling unloved.

I think actually a lonely moment and a moment where you don't feel loved are almost identical.

And they're a signal to us humans that something's awry, something's amiss.

I need to regain, reconnect that connection.

I actually was feeling a little lonely a few weeks ago.

And actually, I don't usually feel lonely.

I have lots of friends and family who love me.

And I left a message for a friend and she just actually just left me a message back yesterday.

And she said, oh, I feel so sorry for you.

I feel so bad.

I wish I were there.

And she's like, Sonia, feeling lonely is a signal that you need to kind of put more effort and energy into reconnecting.

Yes.

Well, there's a part of it that's not a bad thing, which is if you want to be a better person, right, working on yourself, wonderful, right?

But I think when you don't feel loved, to conclude that, oh, I don't feel loved, I need to make myself more lovable, like I need to sort of somehow broadcast how wonderful I am, or maybe I need to get richer or more famous or more beautiful so people would love me more, that's the part that's a myth.

And it does not actually get you to feel more loved.

I think it's not necessarily acceptance, but it's not a supply of love problem.

So many of us are loved, but we still don't feel loved.

So why is that?

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