Sonja Lyubomirsky
speaker
1,409 appearances
3 recordings
3 series
first heard Feb 2026
last heard 25 Jun
Sonja Lyubomirsky’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 3 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 1.
Appearances
Maybe somehow we don't trust it, we don't see it.
it's not somehow getting in.
I think of it as like a cup of love, this cup of love and you're pouring love, you're showing love to me, but maybe it has a leak in the bottom and the love is sort of leaking out.
Or maybe it has a lid, it doesn't have much of a place to get in.
That's one way that that happens.
Um, um, but okay.
So the idea is that when we think, when we think we're not love, we think, oh, I need to be, make myself more lovable.
And so I sort of show you how wonderful I am.
And what does that accomplish?
It might lead you to admire me.
Right.
I might impress you.
It happens all the time.
Like here I am sitting here talking to you, Chris, and I want you to think that I'm smart and interesting and funny and kind.
And I might succeed in impressing you and I might succeed at you admiring me, but it's not going to forge a connection.
So that's not the answer to real connection.
So I think admiration is like, it's like an influencer who has a lot of followers and they might be admired, but the followers don't really know them.
And my coauthor of my book, How to Feel Loved, Harry Reese and I believe that really the key to feeling loved is being known.
Because if you don't really know me, if I'm just broadcasting my positive qualities, hiding my weaknesses, you don't really know who I am on the inside, what really matters to me.
And if you don't really know me, I can't truly ever feel loved because I'll always wonder if he knew me, maybe he wouldn't love me.
Showing 41–60 of 1,409 · page 3 of 71
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