Sophie Smith

Ash wasn't awful.

It wasn't like he was awful all the time.

He was so sweet.

Actually, the last week of his life, it was very beautiful, actually, in a strange way.

And the boys spent a lot of time with him coloring in and reading to him and lying in his bed.

And that was very peaceful, very peaceful.

But yes, when life did get quite difficult and then I did, there were times when I would sort of think, gosh, how long is this going to take?

But it's also hard to admit that.

And do you know what?

When he did die, I had... And I said to him before he... One of the... Probably...

a few days before he died, for the last thing he said.

I actually took him down to Bondi, and we had this amazing morning at Bondi, and I took him for a swim, and he seemed to suddenly be a little bit better, and we had this wonderful time.

And then I took him home, and he was really sick.

And he said, the only time we talked about him dying, he said,

So I don't know if I can go on.

And I said to him, that's okay.

We're gonna be okay.

You don't have to stay.

And I said to him, you have three little boys waiting for you.

And that actually gave me a lot of comfort.