No Filter
Sophie Smith Lost Her Premature Triplets And Then Her Husband. This Is How She Kept Going
10 May 2026
Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What was Sophie's experience leading up to the premature birth of her triplets?
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I used to pretend sometimes. I'd sit down on the sofa with a cup of tea and I'd listen to the silence. And I actually would pretend that Henry, Jasper and Evan had just fallen asleep in the cot next door. And I was finally going to get just a few moments of peace before they woke up. And that's why it was so quiet. And that's why it was so quiet. And, oh, a bit of silence.
Hi, I'm Kate Langbrook, host of No Filter. My guest today is Sophie Smith. When Sophie and her husband Ash discovered they were expecting triplets, they thought they were stepping into the life they'd always dreamed of, becoming parents for the very first time. Instead, after going into premature labour halfway through her pregnancy, Sophie found herself facing unimaginable heartbreak.
Over the months that followed, she and Ash lost all three of their baby boys. In the years since, Sophie has transformed that grief into something extraordinary, founding Running for Premature Babies, a charity that has helped save the lives of thousands of premature babies across Australia.
Sophie and Ash later welcomed two more sons, Owen and Harvey, before tragedy struck their family once again when Ash was diagnosed with brain cancer and died. But somehow, despite all she has endured, Sophie's story is not just one of loss. It's a story about perseverance, about purpose, motherhood, hope, and about what it means to keep going when life turns out nothing like you expected.
Mostly really, it's about love. This is Sophie Smith. Sophie Smith, welcome to No Filter. Thank you, Kate. I'd like to preface our conversation by extending my regret at what has led us to be having this conversation.
Thank you.
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Chapter 2: How did Sophie cope with the loss of her triplets?
Well, that's interesting because normally people are overwhelmed at the prospect of having their first child, being a single, and yet because you didn't know any other way to be.
I think that's right. I think when I look back now... Sometimes I wonder how was I so blase about being pregnant with three, but because I'd never been pregnant before, you know, and once we got over the sort of initial shock of the fact that we were having three babies, we were just, you know, we were all up for it and just super excited.
Because you've also got the spirit of an adventurer. I mean, you came to our shores from the UK. Yes. You were born in Japan. You lived extensively as a child in Asia. Then you came here as a teacher and you met, you fell in love with one of our finest, Ash. I sure did. And what were you looking for at the time? Were you looking for adventure, for...
At the time I met Ash, I was just living in the present, living in the moment, having a great time. I was new to Sydney.
I met Ash a week before the Olympics and we had our first date on the night of the opening ceremony of the Olympics and the city was abuzz and the next two weeks was just like a whirlwind of, you know, fun as, you know, we met and we fell in love and we were, you know, Sydney was just on fire then and we were having a great time and really we just, we...
we just had a really great time together and then we moved in together and um it was actually five years later we finally got married and then we were like right let's let's do this let's have kids and so you were 35 then and you were like now's the time Yeah, I'm like, come on, let's get on with it. I always wanted to have a big family and, you know, I love kids.
And I was working as a primary school teacher at the time. And I, yeah, Ash and I were, and Ash was so excited as well. He was, yeah, he was a great dad. Our boys were his pride and joy, every, all five of them.
Well, it's in the book and when you talk about the progression of the pregnancies and when things started to go awry, Ash really proved himself to be a perfect partner for you and a perfect dad at that time as well. So your pregnancy was travelling fast. in a pretty uncomplicated manner until you were in a supermarket. You were 21 weeks pregnant?
21 weeks, yeah. So yes, I was in the supermarket one morning and And I felt this sort of, I thought, oh, have I just wet myself? That's weird. I didn't really panic because I just thought, oh, it must be some weird pregnancy thing. I've just had some bladder leak. So I carried on with my supermarket shop.
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Chapter 3: What inspired Sophie to create Running for Premature Babies?
And Henry will always be a part of our family.
And almost in a way, did you think that Henry had maybe sacrificed himself?
Exactly. I thought that, you know, that's exactly right, that Henry had... had come so that Jasper and Evan could live. And, you know, I could tell them in years to come about their incredible brother, Henry, and what a beautiful little boy he was and how much he was loved and wanted. Actually, what happened next, it's interesting you say that,
in talk about sacrificing himself, I actually think that Evan, I feel that about Evan as well, number two, because my waters actually ended up breaking on the very day we turned 24 weeks, which at the time I thought, I couldn't believe how lucky we were that had been 24, you know, here we were officially at 24 weeks. It was a huge disappointment, of course, and a huge shock.
My waters broke again because we knew that every day beyond 24 weeks was going to increase their chances of survival. But I also knew that this could have been yesterday, in which case my babies would have no chance. And so my waters broke. We were... We'd been in hospital by this stage for, what, three weeks.
And after my waters had broken, there was suddenly a whole flurry of sort of to-ing and fro-ing from the doctors and staff. And then a doctor came over and said, okay, we're just organizing an ambulance for you. because there aren't any beds available in the neonatal intensive care unit here at the Royal Hospital for Women.
And we've called around all the hospitals in Sydney and there's a critical shortage of neonatal intensive care beds tonight. So we're going to have to take you up to Newcastle and your babies will be cared for up there and they've got a wonderful hospital up there. So we were like, oh, all right, this doesn't sound ideal, but okay, let's get going then.
And then an hour or so passed and I started to get quite anxious and say, what are we waiting for? You know, my babies might be delivered en route. That's going to be no good. Can we go now, please? And then they said, oh, we're really sorry. There's another plan C. Newcastle doesn't have... any beds available. So we're going to deliver your babies here in Sydney.
We'll airlift them to Brisbane or Melbourne." And then they said, we just have to warn you that there is a possibility that we might have to take one to Brisbane and one to Melbourne. Oh, Sophie. And that was just, you know, like a terrible moment because I suddenly thought, but we've just achieved the impossible here. We've just made it to 24 weeks. We've just done the hard bit.
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Chapter 4: What challenges did Sophie face after losing her husband to brain cancer?
Henry, Jasper and Evan had just fallen asleep in the cot next door. And I was finally going to get just a few moments of peace before they woke up. And that's why it was so quiet. And that's why it was so quiet. And, oh, a bit of silence. It was such a sort of mad thing. And then... And then I would realize... Obviously, I knew I was just pretending.
And then I'd kind of realized, you know, I think that I was never going to know the exhaustion of looking after three babies. I was never going to hear three babies screaming for a feed. I was never going to know the challenges of... I was never going to take them for a walk around the park. And I... And I knew that I couldn't keep pretending and that I couldn't change what had happened.
There was nothing in my power to change what had happened, but there was everything in my power to decide what to do next. And that was a turning point. And how did that turning point come? Well, Ash, I didn't know how, but Ash and I would talk about them all the time. We talked about, Ash was amazing. Every day we spoke. And every day, forever,
Ash, the last thing he would say to me at night was Henry, Jasper and Evan. He would always... The last thing he'd say to me before we went to sleep was he would speak their names. And so he was amazing and he helped support me. Obviously, he was grieving, but he was an incredible support for me. And we... We always talked about the fact that we were still Henry, Jasper and Evan's parents.
They had gone, but that didn't change the fact that we were here and we were their parents, and we would always be their parents. And so I felt I had a job to do to ensure their lives mattered. And that's... I wanted to find a way to make their lives, to bring something good from them. And Ash one day said, I've had an idea.
What about let's run a half marathon and let's raise a bit of money for the hospital in memory of Henry, Jasper and Evan.
Because he was a runner, Ash was, but you weren't, were you?
Not really. I'd run a little bit with Ash. We'd done a couple of little events together, but... I certainly wasn't a half marathon runner. And Ash was a good runner, but he hadn't done a half marathon either. But he liked to run. He used to run at lunchtime at work and stuff. And he said, come on, there's a half marathon in a few months time, let's do it.
And then I found out that the hospital, well, I'd realized, we had realized when our boys were in hospital that a lot of the equipment that was helping our boys was donated equipment. And we learned that the hospital relies on 70% of its equipment is from donations. And this was something I didn't have any idea about before. And so I knew also that the hospital was in need of more equipment.
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Chapter 5: How did Sophie manage motherhood amidst grief?
Over the last, I guess, two years before Ash passed, he had recurrent tumors. So he was going into hospital, having brain surgery, then he was having to have chemo, but then he'd get well again. And so the boys, and also, of course, Owen had been six months old when Ash was diagnosed, so Owen grew up with brain cancer.
Because Ash said right from the beginning, he said, I'm bringing Owen to every doctor's appointment because I want the doctors to know what I have to live for. I want them to know that this is how much I have to live for this child. And then when Harvey was born, we brought Harvey along. So Owen grew up coming to all of the appointments. He grew up around chemo and...
Surgery and hospitals and things. And they adored their dad. He was just such a great... And he adored them. And so, when he wasn't well, they knew that they had to be careful with Daddy because he's not well. But one of the things that they loved, funny things he used to do was to throw them on the bed. So they'd wrestle.
And one of the fun things, they'd say, Daddy, throw us on the bed, throw us on the bed. And then they'd say, oh, can Daddy throw us on the bed? And I'd have to say, no, you know, he's not well enough to throw you on the bed. So that was like the... The benchmark. The measure.
Yeah.
Is Daddy well enough to throw us on the bed? And then as he got really sick... And when I actually told... Harvey was only small. He was only just... He wasn't even five. And Owen was seven. And I remember when I... told Owen, I thought I was telling Owen, because he said, when's daddy going to be better? When's he going to be better? When could he throw us in the bed?
And I said to him, I sat him down and I said, darling, daddy's not getting better. He's not going to get better. And Owen looked at me and said, well, he's going to be sick forever. So I realised that that wasn't enough for a child. They didn't join the dots. But at that stage, Owen started to realise. And I remember a few days later, he said to me, Mum, would you rather be sick forever or dead?
And it was the first time he talked about dying. And then when I told Owen and Harvey... What did you say, by the way? What's the answer to that? Oh, I can't even remember. I think we talked about quality of life. But when I finally knew I needed to tell them, it was heartbreaking because Owen, he had, you know, I told him, Daddy's going to die.
And you could see how Owen was, he had a hundred questions. And he was quite, he sounded quite angry. And he said, what, I'm not going to have a dad. And I said, no, you always have a dad, darling. You always have your dad. Your dad's always going to be your dad. And he said, what, but not a dad I can play with.
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Chapter 6: What lessons did Sophie learn about resilience and hope?
But she'd also received the devastating news that Enzo probably wasn't going to survive. And she rang me and asked me to come up to the hospital. So last week I went up to the hospital and I met Katia. this beautiful little boy, Enzo, and I met his mom, Katia, and I was able to support them in some way.
Now, Enzo has since passed away, and Katia has already reached out to me to say that she wants to honor Enzo's life by supporting one of her premature babies. And I find it quite amazing that in her moment of heartbreak, that she's already thinking about how can she, how can Enzo's spirit help other babies?
People have told me over the years how running in their baby's name to help other babies has actually helped them heal.
Well, speaking of Cartier, for instance, this episode's going to go out soon after Mother's Day, which is such a challenging time for anyone who's had any loss like this. How was it for you, your first Mother's Day after losing the boys? And how are you now?
So on Mother's Day, I like to shout from the rooftops that I am a mother of five. And right from the very beginning, I actually have a card on my bedside table that was my first Mother's Day card, actually. And Ash wrote me the most beautiful card. And he always did. Every Mother's Day, Ash would write me a card from Henry, Jasper and Evan, as if they had written it.
And it's such a sweet card that says, you know, thank you for being the very best mummy. We are so lucky to have you as our mum. And now Owen and Harvey, when they will give me a Mother's Day card on Sunday, they will sign the Mother's Day card from them and Henry, Jasper and Evan. And so for me, it's about, you know, we are still mums when our babies die.
And for me, it's an opportunity to tell people I'm a mum of five boys.
And I think a very lovely message contained in your book is that it's important to talk to women who have lost their babies and to acknowledge those babies and to say their names.
And to speak aloud the baby's names. I found after, you know, everybody, nobody wants to do the wrong thing, you know, but nobody knows what to do. And so people often think, oh, we better not mention that. the baby that died because... We don't know what to say. We don't know what to say, so we won't mention the baby.
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