Spud
Appearances
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
It's a hot dog for adults. And they make a half hot, half sweet, too, dude. So if you can't decide, that's the both of us.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Have you seen his piece?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
He's going to sit right there, I think. Sit right there. He might stop for you. We're going to stand around him.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
can confirm i went and they took me to an 18 year old party 18 year old uh birthday party for may because you only have to be 18 yeah this is byo other side 21 yeah and uh i was just like don't just don't put me on the fucking stage and then they say john don't call her to the stage and it's the woman with the biggest hits i've ever seen that have ever existed and she's doing the whipped cream i eat the whipped cream off her off her butt and her fart
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
And then I'm like this with my belt holding my hands back and I'm like, why do they call you Bubbles? Because I like to blow and I was like, oh God. They beat the shit out of you too.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
No, I think it's if they serve alcohol. If it's BYO... They can get completely naked. If they serve alcohol, they can't take their bottoms off, and I think they have to have the pasties on the top. A la Pleasure Dome. E as well, Delilah's.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Delilah's serves beer, so they don't get fully naked.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
We'd have to ask our forefathers about that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
I think it's safe to say I'll never see a Brazil nut in my entire life. Really? I'll never be able to identify a Brazil nut now.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
It's supposed to be a coffee shop that has scantily clad women, but you can see in the reflection of the guy's car, the woman is fully clothed. He's trying to beat his dick to a lady in a full-on jeans and a t-shirt, and then she catches him on video and he drives to another parking lot and blows his head off.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
He's trying to get a quick beat in while he gets a hot coffee.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah, if I don't have to get out of my car, then I don't have to stop masturbating. That's the rule at a coffee shop.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Well, they're like also a scumbag realtor company, aren't they?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah, if you're coming off of spine surgery, do you need to go to this two-year-old's birthday party? That's what I'm saying.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
I'm sorry. You're saying you haven't orgasmed? No, no, no. Jerked it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
It is. It can be rough. There can be months of like, oh, wow, I guess I just have been beating off and forgetting that I live with a lady for a few weeks here.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
That's terrible. Shot by rival porn stars.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Just know you let this happen. You stood by idly.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
When Eminem says it, it is over. He never will. We won. We finally won rap.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
It's going to be on his last album. You think so? He's going to be 80 years old and on his deathbed. It's time to say it. I don't think so. I think he voted for Hillary Clinton or something.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Hot guy makes bops. Love him.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
I've only heard the Twitter clip where he's like doing like beating hearts. It's all right. It's all right. It's got that emo vibe from the mid-2000s.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
How'd he die? It was a murder-suicide with Chester. Yes, that's what they say.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Anne Hesch, the lady that... Oh, yeah, yeah.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
If you're standing at the podium, you can say anything you want without saying anything.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Is that a pre-cum?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Wait, are you out there actively searching for your dick queen?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah, not everything's... He was wearing pretty tight jeans in that performance, that famous performance. I think somebody would have zoomed in on his piece if it was something to write home about, write a song about, you know?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
You can probably get his personal information and then you guys can probably exchange pictures of your hard penises. With a certain can or bottle next to it to make sure you're both sized up equally. True. And we don't even have to do this in public, you know? You can just be private. Well, the gauntlet's sewn down.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Gonna be in Austin anytime soon. I'm at a urinal right now and there's nobody next to me.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Like slurping out the old juices?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
That guy really likes it both ways, it seems. What do you mean?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
I mean, he likes lady juices and guy juices, it seems like.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Once you fuck every hot lady, the next thing is boys.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
You can't be angry and do that. If you haven't fucked 1,000 ladies, four-digit ladies, and you fuck guys, you're gay. If you fucked 1,000 ladies and now you start fucking guys, you're just the fucking man.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
I'm more of a DeSoto guy myself.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Old fellas, too. She's including the old guys. That's nice. They're all including the old guys nowadays. That's very nice. Really?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
I don't like seeing it, but I'm very happy for the guys. True.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Subgirl? She got her clout stolen?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Well, there's three really running gunners. You got Bonnie, you got Lily Phillips, and you got Wisconsin Tiff, who's in the mix now. Wisconsin Tiff? What? Is this like the slut presidential primary? Yeah, she apparently... From what I've heard from a friend who's into this kind of thing. She's banned from a bunch of old homes because she was going in and fucking all the geezers.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Also, the orderlies that she wasn't fucking.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
I wouldn't wear pants either if I was you.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
You told the rock you were going to tie his hands behind his back. That is not a nice thing to say to Dwayne Johnson.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
I was confused. The Rock just made the fucking coolest movie. God, rewind that. Cut that out. San Andreas, that's what I was trying to think.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah, Red One is actually pretty good. Oh, it's his Marvel movie, yeah. For real? It was $250 million to make. And do you know how much The Rock got paid for that?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
It was like The Rock is a secret service for Santa Claus. Okay. So if people are trying to attack Santa Claus, I thought it was a Marvel movie.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Isn't he a Marvel dude too? Yeah, he's Black Adam. Yes, that one flopped.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
I mean, he's not even excited about saying the power, so it must not be great.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
He has super strength, super speed.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Oh, so he was willing to cut a baby in half to find out who the right mother was. So wise.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah, he finds out that she also has the operating system for millions of other men.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
And destroy me. I want to kill myself in less than an hour.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah, that's not a hack. Why would you not be allowed to do that?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
I just wanted you to call something gay. What is the big deal?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Which is a very funny thing to be on around Trump.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
He's annoying and he's very lame on Twitter.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
He's in charge of rocket ships. I think the cyber team is cool, though.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah, just draw a swastika on the back and fucking man up.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
I just keep a cup of gasoline in my Tesla so I can smell it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
You have a Tesla? I don't even have a fucking car. Does my girlfriend have a Tesla? Then I don't.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah, those things are fucking sick. They sell them now for like 5Gs that just already look like it.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
I don't really like driving that much anymore.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
So did he not need to eat all that raw meat?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Because he hasn't had a fucking proper meal in the past three years.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
If I have a second sentence.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
The suicide queen or king card thing.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
You had a Netflix or a Nextel all of a sudden?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
A Nextel phone all of a sudden?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
There's male testicles. There's grown-up testicles that look like that too, buddy.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
So I was about to say, you're on the last item, and then you're like, I actually have to return all this.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
They're feeling pretty good right now, but my ego just took a hit from you.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Yeah, a real contractor just eyes it up.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
I love it. He was putting energy on the grid after that.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Hashtag. So, wait, did you convince that guy who was clearly about to paint his house to get Gorilla Tape instead?
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
Next time you need to go in there with the tape measure on and the wireless headset, but it's clearly not plugged into anything. It's just dragging on the floor behind you. I think you're going to want a different kind of tape, actually.
Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast
Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)
That's what everyone says. It is not bad. It's a fine sausage and pepper sandwich. You can't fuck it up.