Stacey

This is not the way.

It's just so weird to be with a guy who doesn't fart without knowing it.

And she's like, wow, one of the guys I dated rented out a whole restaurant.

One guy took me on a private jet to Vegas.

And, you know, that's just like the caliber that I've been used to.

So...

They're like, oh, my God.

And she's like, wow, that simulation was like so real.

Wow.

So anyway, I'm dumping you because like we're we've been together a year.

And to me, one year is like that's like a time of reflection.

So yeah, she dumps him and she's like, you know, what I fear will happen is that we, you know, you're young and you don't have kids yet and you've never been married.

So eventually you're going to want those things.

And I don't want more children, but like if I were to have children, you know, it would have to be like now.

Like a thong?

And so Ashley's like, oh, a bathrobe would be nice, right, for your house?

She's like, oh my God, Josh and I called it quits.

So she's like, you know, I'm not asking too much.

My man is out there somewhere and I'm going to find him.

I'm just listening for the soft beeping of an oxygen machine.