Steph Claire Smith

And I feel like when that happens, it's almost like when you're insecure in something, you hang on even more.

And I think you also don't act as your best self because you are kind of acting in fear.

And she might have kind of felt the indication that you're drifting.

And so...

her default is then to hang on even tighter.

And I wonder how, because when this listener says, you know, anytime I've tried to set a boundary with this...

I suppose the context on that would be really helpful because I wonder how that is actually being communicated because there's so many ways when we're trying to communicate something really uncomfortable and you really want to protect someone that you love that we say things without really saying it or we, yeah, I don't know, approach a line in a way that doesn't necessarily get exactly how we're feeling across.

It's more of a like, hey, do you think...

Instead of it being like, I love you and, like, I want you to know that our friendship means the world to me and I do not want what I'm about to say to come in between our friendship at all because I really want to continue to be there as your friend and have you as my friend because I really value that.

So you start by making sure they feel safe in their relationship.

Yes, that is a very good point.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's like...

I am really excited about X, Y, and Z that's going on in my life right now or whatever.

And I don't feel like I'm being able to show up in the way that maybe you're showing up for me or whatever or that you're, you know... And it's actually making me start to feel a little, like, guilty of how it might be making you feel on your end.

And I just want to assure you that even if I don't write back or can't catch up or whatever it is, that I still love you and that you're still my friend.

And I don't know if that would maybe, like...

It's almost like you're not putting it on you.

Like you're not saying like, oh, I'm such a shit friend.

I'm not being as open.