Stephan Speaks

I mean think whenever you hear stories of nice guys being run over and getting played it usually involves this man who is just trying to do everything the woman wants and just putting all his desires aside to make her happy that doesn't work not like that it doesn't.

I mean think whenever you hear stories of nice guys being run over and getting played it usually involves this man who is just trying to do everything the woman wants and just putting all his desires aside to make her happy that doesn't work not like that it doesn't.

Yes, but the safety, So, the safety that's being achieved by picking the safe choice is I don't have to be too vulnerable in this relationship. So, I'm able to guard myself from devastating hurt and disappointment that I've probably experienced at least once before at least at a level that I felt like I don't ever want to go there again.

Yes, but the safety, So, the safety that's being achieved by picking the safe choice is I don't have to be too vulnerable in this relationship. So, I'm able to guard myself from devastating hurt and disappointment that I've probably experienced at least once before at least at a level that I felt like I don't ever want to go there again.

That's very different than the man who she is completely invested in, completely in love with and he understands the need to provide safety and security for her. The need to make the situation or the relationship more stable for her where she can rest in her feminine energy so to speak while she's with him. That's two different types of safety. So, it's like okay, if you choose a safe man

That's very different than the man who she is completely invested in, completely in love with and he understands the need to provide safety and security for her. The need to make the situation or the relationship more stable for her where she can rest in her feminine energy so to speak while she's with him. That's two different types of safety. So, it's like okay, if you choose a safe man

And that's the big one.

And that's the big one.

it's a situation where she feels like he wants me or he loves me more than i do him and that's where they feel like it is safe but again it doesn't work in the long run never yeah i want to say never never i should never say never but i would just use that word because if someone if you are in a relationship like that and maybe you're not even conscious that you're doing it in the beginning but you realize a year two years in okay

it's a situation where she feels like he wants me or he loves me more than i do him and that's where they feel like it is safe but again it doesn't work in the long run never yeah i want to say never never i should never say never but i would just use that word because if someone if you are in a relationship like that and maybe you're not even conscious that you're doing it in the beginning but you realize a year two years in okay

Well, so it's a tricky place because at that point, it's hard for them to fully express what's going on. Like one of the things I tell women is that one of the worst positions to be in is with a man you're not truly in love well, with a good man you're not truly in love with. Why is that the worst position? Because at that point if she's feeling empty she's feeling bored she's feeling unsatisfied

Well, so it's a tricky place because at that point, it's hard for them to fully express what's going on. Like one of the things I tell women is that one of the worst positions to be in is with a man you're not truly in love well, with a good man you're not truly in love with. Why is that the worst position? Because at that point if she's feeling empty she's feeling bored she's feeling unsatisfied

who can she run to and say this to that won't say but wait a minute you have a great man you can't do that oh, just work... Like, no one's going to say oh, yeah you know what I get it just walk away. Now, I won't say no one but most people aren't going to allow that to be a good enough reason for her to walk away.

who can she run to and say this to that won't say but wait a minute you have a great man you can't do that oh, just work... Like, no one's going to say oh, yeah you know what I get it just walk away. Now, I won't say no one but most people aren't going to allow that to be a good enough reason for her to walk away.

So, she knows she's going to get pushback from people but not just pushback from people from her own self. It's like okay, wait a minute do I leave this great guy who loves me so much

So, she knows she's going to get pushback from people but not just pushback from people from her own self. It's like okay, wait a minute do I leave this great guy who loves me so much

which is so safe here even though I'm not really that happy I'm not fulfilled or maybe I'm not that attracted to him that's a tough position to be in because it's like it would be so much easier if he cheated on her it'd be so much easier if he was abusive or something then she can easily validate oh, okay I got to go.

which is so safe here even though I'm not really that happy I'm not fulfilled or maybe I'm not that attracted to him that's a tough position to be in because it's like it would be so much easier if he cheated on her it'd be so much easier if he was abusive or something then she can easily validate oh, okay I got to go.

And that's why some women in that situation what they do is try to create turmoil. Drama. Yes, they're trying to find something to give them the exit to say okay, I don't have to be here anymore. or to make that man want to leave them. And in fairness this happens on both sides but I've literally talked to clients who the only reason they cheated hoping it would make their partner leave them.

And that's why some women in that situation what they do is try to create turmoil. Drama. Yes, they're trying to find something to give them the exit to say okay, I don't have to be here anymore. or to make that man want to leave them. And in fairness this happens on both sides but I've literally talked to clients who the only reason they cheated hoping it would make their partner leave them.