Stephanie R. Yates-Anyabwile

It's about being honest about where you're at today, what your hopes are today, and seeing how you and your partner can negotiate that.

If I say to my husband, like, I don't think it's making sense for us to share the same bathroom.

Like, we're constantly getting in arguments about the bathroom.

Your hair is everywhere.

My hair is everywhere.

I leave the lids off of everything.

Whatever the case may be, we've got an extra bathroom.

Why don't we just, you have that one, I have this one.

If you can have that conversation and they're cool with it, why not save yourself from some arguments?

There are a lot of opportunities like that that we miss.

I totally agree with that.

I think we don't check in with ourselves a lot, especially in the

learning someone phase.

Sometimes, like you said, we ignore things that would make us very unhappy because we are really not even enjoying the fantasy of them but the fantasy of being in a relationship in general.

And so it's like, hmm, yeah, he's not that romantic, but he's here.

And I've got someone to take to this wedding.

And I have someone who might warm my car up in the morning.

But then, you know, we're looking 10 years down the line.

You're like, my husband's not romantic.

And I'm like, was he ever?