Stephanie R. Yates-Anyabwile

I think that to me, that means that your people pleasing is probably a result of some sort of trauma experience.

if bad things always happen?

What does that mean?

What I hear you say is that basically you're people-pleased to avoid the humiliation of hearing no or...

Asking for what you need and a person basically telling you you're not important enough for that accommodation.

Like when we go back to the example of being in the Uber, if you tell that Uber driver that you're cold and goes, oh, well, I'm hot and keeps it on.

Now it's like I put myself out there.

I admitted I was cold and he didn't care.

He didn't make the accommodation.

So maybe it's easier to not experience that rejection than it is to take the chance of getting what you want.

Oh, okay.

Interesting perspective.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I could see that look.

And I think anxiety works both ways because alternatively, you could be thinking...

If I tell him about the fact that I'm cold, then this will happen, this will happen.

Anxiety is just looking at every worst case scenario almost, you know?

So I think even if you were super anxious, it could be the same situation.

So how did the opinions of others impact your relationship with yourself?