Stephen Bush

Protect and survive.

That was properly terrifying.

One of the things we were told to do as a kid, if you wanted to survive a nuclear attack, was take the door off the hinges and put it at 45 degrees.

After the three-minute warning, siren has gone off.

Have you ever tried to take a door off its hinges?

Because mostly they've been painted over as well, and then you've got some poor bloke in the hall going, ''Oh, Christ, Margot, it's a Phillips head screwdriver!''

Imagine not surviving a nuclear attack because you didn't have a flat head.

Can you imagine turning up and that's the locum who's seeing you?

What's he doing at two o'clock in the morning sending out these images anyway?

We're having loads of talk at the moment about taking teenagers off social media.

Keep them on it.

They're fine.

They're sensible.

They know what they're doing.

Take these old bastards running the world off social media.

I think that's... Vance then ploughed in, didn't he?

He was at the Turning Point Conference in the States recently, poorly attended, poorly attended.

Very poorly attended.

And he was talking about the Pope and the Pope getting involved with this whole debacle, and he actually said, I think the Pope should be very careful when he's talking about things about theology.

LAUGHTER What?!