Steve Arnott

And it's the same thing with romance. You've got to be able to separate yourself from that. And I think people do tend to... I don't think you're alone in that. I think a lot of people tend to attach those actions to their own perception of or ability to perform those actions and to flirt well and stuff like that. And that's just not... That's not the reality of it. And that's not the fun of it.

And it's the same thing with romance. You've got to be able to separate yourself from that. And I think people do tend to... I don't think you're alone in that. I think a lot of people tend to attach those actions to their own perception of or ability to perform those actions and to flirt well and stuff like that. And that's just not... That's not the reality of it. And that's not the fun of it.

If I wanted to just...

If I wanted to just...

flirt with people as myself i'd just go flirt with people as myself the point the point of it is to explore that character and what that character is experiencing and so sometimes quote unquote metagaming can help with that because it's clarifying intentions and it's creating opportunity for things to happen that might not otherwise be organically possible in rp with me as a player

flirt with people as myself i'd just go flirt with people as myself the point the point of it is to explore that character and what that character is experiencing and so sometimes quote unquote metagaming can help with that because it's clarifying intentions and it's creating opportunity for things to happen that might not otherwise be organically possible in rp with me as a player

Yes.

Yes.

You need the ability to do that in the moment. Not just between sessions, but in the moment. So my campaign that I'm running, I actually have one player that I have a code word with because they have a few things that they're uncomfortable with in the romance area and in other areas. And we developed code word. And I said, if at any point you say this code word,

You need the ability to do that in the moment. Not just between sessions, but in the moment. So my campaign that I'm running, I actually have one player that I have a code word with because they have a few things that they're uncomfortable with in the romance area and in other areas. And we developed code word. And I said, if at any point you say this code word,

I – or it's actually – no, I'm not going to be specific about it just in case people are listening. But if at any point you say this code word, I, as the DM, know that I need to redirect the situation. I need to interrupt. I need to redirect. And then you and I can catch up afterward and I can figure out exactly what it was that – scratched, that hit things wrong.

I – or it's actually – no, I'm not going to be specific about it just in case people are listening. But if at any point you say this code word, I, as the DM, know that I need to redirect the situation. I need to interrupt. I need to redirect. And then you and I can catch up afterward and I can figure out exactly what it was that – scratched, that hit things wrong.

And if that sounds like a lot of work, if you're a GM that's like, God, I just don't want to have to create code words with everyone. That's the job. You have to be ruthlessly committed to the comfort of every single one of your players. And if that's not you, that's fine. Just don't include any of this. Don't include any of it.

And if that sounds like a lot of work, if you're a GM that's like, God, I just don't want to have to create code words with everyone. That's the job. You have to be ruthlessly committed to the comfort of every single one of your players. And if that's not you, that's fine. Just don't include any of this. Don't include any of it.

Err on the side, like Jess said, of not doing any of it because that's the safer choice. Yeah.

Err on the side, like Jess said, of not doing any of it because that's the safer choice. Yeah.

With my horror games. And that can be a lot to manage. It absolutely can. And I only have a code word with that one player. We have a phrase as a group that we can use and that's included in the Lines of Vale spreadsheet and in the form that they fill out, so they all know that.

With my horror games. And that can be a lot to manage. It absolutely can. And I only have a code word with that one player. We have a phrase as a group that we can use and that's included in the Lines of Vale spreadsheet and in the form that they fill out, so they all know that.

I developed it with this one player because I knew that there were some things that they were uncomfortable with and I got the sense that they weren't going to be comfortable standing up for those boundaries. Yeah.

I developed it with this one player because I knew that there were some things that they were uncomfortable with and I got the sense that they weren't going to be comfortable standing up for those boundaries. Yeah.