Steve Carell

Yes! I'm Stephen Colbert. And I'm Steve Car-sel-carell. And this has been Even Steven.

Yes! I'm Stephen Colbert. And I'm Steve Car-sel-carell. And this has been Even Steven.

You just made me vomit in my own mouth. What's the weather like up your own ass? Have the Clinton years been good for America? Yes. No. Yes, in 1992. Our country was in a severe economic recession. Eight years of unprecedented prosperity later, America is richer and stronger than it has ever been. And the man responsible, William Jefferson Clinton. Oh, come off it, Steve.

You just made me vomit in my own mouth. What's the weather like up your own ass? Have the Clinton years been good for America? Yes. No. Yes, in 1992. Our country was in a severe economic recession. Eight years of unprecedented prosperity later, America is richer and stronger than it has ever been. And the man responsible, William Jefferson Clinton. Oh, come off it, Steve.

Alan Greenspan runs this economy, not Bill Clinton. The only thing Bill Clinton has brought us these last eight years is moral turpitude and national shame. Two words, Stephen. Dow 10,000. Whitewater. Welfare reform. Monica Gate. Eight years of peace. Shut the f*** up.

Alan Greenspan runs this economy, not Bill Clinton. The only thing Bill Clinton has brought us these last eight years is moral turpitude and national shame. Two words, Stephen. Dow 10,000. Whitewater. Welfare reform. Monica Gate. Eight years of peace. Shut the f*** up.

I'm just tired, and I'm upset about Clinton. Every time we fight, it's because of Clinton, or the economy, or NAFTA. I don't think the problem is out there. I think the problem is right here, and I think we need to talk about it. We don't have a problem, okay? We're fine, okay? You're fine. You're great. Don't. Don't. Just don't, okay?

I'm just tired, and I'm upset about Clinton. Every time we fight, it's because of Clinton, or the economy, or NAFTA. I don't think the problem is out there. I think the problem is right here, and I think we need to talk about it. We don't have a problem, okay? We're fine, okay? You're fine. You're great. Don't. Don't. Just don't, okay?

You know, I've been giving this some thought and, well, maybe we need to commentate with other people for a while.

You know, I've been giving this some thought and, well, maybe we need to commentate with other people for a while.

I'm going to kill him. You know what? Bob has control of his anger. He doesn't lash out. Stephen, look at me. Look at me. Look at me. You have a problem. And until you can get control of that anger, I just don't think we can be together.

I'm going to kill him. You know what? Bob has control of his anger. He doesn't lash out. Stephen, look at me. Look at me. Look at me. You have a problem. And until you can get control of that anger, I just don't think we can be together.

Maybe ABC's Sam Donaldson is right. You know? Maybe he is. Ah, screw Sam Donaldson. I hate you. I hate you. I'm Steve Carell. I'm Stephen Colbert. And this has been Even Stephen.

Maybe ABC's Sam Donaldson is right. You know? Maybe he is. Ah, screw Sam Donaldson. I hate you. I hate you. I'm Steve Carell. I'm Stephen Colbert. And this has been Even Stephen.

You've just made me vomit in my own mouth. What's the weather like up your own ass? Tonight, are the Republicans out to get Bill Clinton? Yes! No! Yes! Stephen, the Republicans are trying to humiliate Bill Clinton, unless you would have us believe that the right wing is legitimately anti-fiscal responsibility and pro-radiation. Do you think us blind? Blind as masturbating bats with glaucoma.

You've just made me vomit in my own mouth. What's the weather like up your own ass? Tonight, are the Republicans out to get Bill Clinton? Yes! No! Yes! Stephen, the Republicans are trying to humiliate Bill Clinton, unless you would have us believe that the right wing is legitimately anti-fiscal responsibility and pro-radiation. Do you think us blind? Blind as masturbating bats with glaucoma.

What my esteemed colleague on the left fails to realize is neither bill serves this country's interests or enjoys widespread support. You know, Steven, penicillin can cure syphilis before it infects your brain.

What my esteemed colleague on the left fails to realize is neither bill serves this country's interests or enjoys widespread support. You know, Steven, penicillin can cure syphilis before it infects your brain.

The campaign finance bill was in fact co-sponsored by Republican Senator John McCain, and the nuclear test ban treaty was backed by nearly every major world leader and international scientist. Oh, really? Well then, Steve, you're right. Listen to yourself, Steven. You're up there in your ivory towel. What? You're right. I completely forgot about McCain.

The campaign finance bill was in fact co-sponsored by Republican Senator John McCain, and the nuclear test ban treaty was backed by nearly every major world leader and international scientist. Oh, really? Well then, Steve, you're right. Listen to yourself, Steven. You're up there in your ivory towel. What? You're right. I completely forgot about McCain.