Steve D'Agostino

speaker

89 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Nov 2024 last heard Nov 2024

Steve D'Agostino’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Finding Peak with Ryan Hanley · Building Resilient Kids: The Real Game of Youth Sports · 25 Nov 2024 podcast

right and so if the intention was i'm going to invest in my kid just say basketball training because they're going to learn how to be dedicated to something be disciplined wake up early go hard in training sessions fight through adversity struggle learn how to come out on top and then whatever they end up doing in high school college and beyond this is going to help them there that's how my philosophy has always been when we're training people so like when they come in eighth ninth grade they're talking about college like

we lose all the crazies because we're not on the same page. That's not what we're looking to do.

So there's like, so I coach my daughter's fifth grade team. I also coach third grade. The third grade is like, you know, they're just learning whatever. But like fifth grade, I've had them now for a couple years. And so I am the same way as you. Like we're going to compete to win, but I don't care whether we win or lose.

I actually prefer, like we lose, man, over two years, we probably lost seven games by like one possession. And part of the problem with our team is we're not focused. Like we come in practice and it's not like we're on them, but they have a hard time. And you're not going to win. close games if you're not focused.

And so I actually like it because they're learning now like, hey, you don't like losing by one point, two points, three points. We missed 10 foul shots. We didn't run this play and execute. And so it's helping us, right, like fight through adversity, lose, and now come back and practice and work on those things, right? And so I'm the same way as you, like, I do this for a living.

So I could be as crazy as you need me to be. But in fifth grade, the biggest thing is not that we win games. It's not that we run a million plays. We have one play that we run. It's that your kid, by the time they're in eighth or ninth grade, if they want to do basketball, that then they're ready to be in the gym all the time and compete.

Yeah. I, you know, obviously that's like never a good thing. You don't want to like rail on volunteers because they are given their time. Right. And I've always said like, yo, if you're going to complain about the volunteer coach, then you go coach. Yeah. Go do it. You know what I mean? And so that, that stinks, but you know,

Kids are going to if they're going to play sports and it's going to be competitive, they're going to have to deal with all different types of coaches. And so, you know, you get a coach that maybe is not your style for a year. It's a good thing for your kid. Yeah, it's a good thing. And so how can you support your kid?

And like maybe they don't get they don't like getting yelled at and that coach is a yeller. Then how do you support them to get through it? And then once they get through it, they'll be able to deal with people like that. And then as far as finding another team, the team hopping is crazy, especially in basketball. I'm sure it's similar in baseball.

Not having the continuity of players and coaches and all that is not a good thing for development. But if you are lucky enough to have options, then you've got to balance it. What happens now is parents want the perfect situation. They want the best coach. They want their kid to play a ton. They want their kid to be the best player on the team. And that's not the case.

You're almost never going to have that, right? And so you have to sacrifice in some areas. So if you're going to prioritize the coaching over everything, then you can't all of a sudden come back and be like, well, my kid's playing half the game. Yeah, but he could have played on this team where the coaching might not have been as good and they would have played the whole game.

But you prioritize coaching. And so there's no perfect scenario. And so the parents have to really, hey, what do I prioritize? And if they're not in a great situation, maybe their kid's not playing a ton. Great. Support him through it. And then he should be stronger or she should be stronger because of that. And they got through it.

Yep. So we can get into the talent levels later because obviously the more talented you are, the more opportunities you're going to have. But I would say this, and this is kind of like – what I've come to realize with this generation, and this is if everybody had this mindset of this is what you're trying to build in your kids, right, with youth sports.

If you can get your kid to be competitive and resilient, you've done your job. Doesn't matter how many games you've won, what sport you're playing, you know this, when they get to college and beyond for life, if they're competitive and they're resilient, they're gonna have a good chance to succeed.

And so for our development and our training, how do we put them in situations where they have to be competitive? Wins, losses, go as hard as you can. And then put them in adversity so they learn that failing is a good thing and they're going to build up that resilience within themselves. Then go let them play whatever sport you want. Start a business.

You're competitive, you're resilient, you're going to figure it out. That's really what the mindset should be for you sports and beyond.

Yeah, clarity. And fifth grade, sixth grade may be too young for them to completely understand it, but they'll get it. Competitiveness is not the result. It's the action. Okay, what does that mean? You're focused. You're engaged. You're giving 100% effort. You're being physical. You're trying to do everything that you need to do to win the game. The result is separate from that.

right you could be more talented and not be not compete in a game and still win that's not a good thing right so them understanding that that result of winning is separate from the action of being competitive yeah

I think you put them into challenging situations, right? And so, like, you know, we'll do it with, you know, in our area, we've been lucky. We've had a ton of really good, like, shooters come out of this area. You know, Joe Girard was at Syracuse in Clemson. Kevin Herter was in the NBA. Joe Cremo was at Villanova.

And so what we what we do is we try to get them in a situation where let's say they come in and we're doing shooting stuff where they're not going to win every drill. I think and you know this with coaching, you want every drill a lot of times to be like clean and you want your kids to do it like really well. And part of what I've started to embrace is like chaotic drills.

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