Suleika Jaouad

And so the truth is that in a way, as strange as it sounds,

Getting sick freed me

from those expectations.

I couldn't be a productive person.

I couldn't climb a ladder and have a certain kind of career.

And the irony is that when I got sick, because I couldn't do those things, because I was shuttling between the hospital and my childhood bedroom, I allowed myself to pursue the thing I'd always wanted to pursue, which is writing.

And I don't know that I would have allowed myself that without this massive interruption.

I'd like to think that eventually I would have found my way to a career that both paid the bills and creatively nourished me.

But I don't know that I would have given myself permission to actually pursue it.

We have an inherited legacy of expectation of goodness that has been exploded.

Yeah.

You know, my grandmother had 13 children, never learned to read or write.

Oh, my gosh.

And her role was very clear.

Yeah.

It was to take care of the children and to take care of the home.

The option of...

having a career and doing that just wasn't an option.

And I remember right around the time I graduated, Anne-Marie Slaughter wrote that essay questioning if women can have it all.

And I, like you, grew up in a generation where I was told you can have it all.