Suleika Jaouad
speaker
1,033 appearances
4 recordings
3 series
first heard Sep 2025
last heard 29 May
Suleika Jaouad’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 2 in all, peaking in May 2026 with 1.
Appearances
Who wants to do that?
Sure.
You know, it's much more enjoyable to binge watch whatever newest show is on Netflix.
Yes.
And so what I often do, and this is a practice that the poet Marie Howe does, is when I'm in that space of really resisting whatever it is that I have to say or don't know how to say, I write in my non-dominant hand and I say, I don't want to write about, and then I write into that.
And so there are so many little tools like that that I've had to cultivate, not because I'm some peaceful mountaintop guru that has learned to, you know, lovingly coexist with pain, but because I have to work at it every day and because my survival is tied to it.
And life keeps unfolding and time keeps unfolding.
And with that comes new beginnings and new challenges and new difficulties.
So, you know, we open this conversation speaking about the fear of some future threat happening and the belief.
that you can't handle it and so for me much of the last 10 years was waiting for that ceiling to cave back in fearing the possibility that one day my leukemia might return and i had to
you know, do battle with that fear and that anxiety every day.
And last year, right as I had sort of started to trust the structural stability, my most feared thing did happen.
I learned that my leukemia had returned.
And it's so interesting because I've been the sickest I've ever been in the last year.
I had a second bone marrow transplant.
And while I'm doing okay right now, I also learned that this time there wasn't going to be an end date in sight.
I'm going to be in treatment indefinitely for the rest of my life.
And that word indefinite initially was so crushing to me.
But I was saying this to my husband the other day.
There's a strange freedom that I feel now that my most feared thing has come to pass because I just have to learn to live with it now.
Showing 241–260 of 1,033 · page 13 of 52
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