Suzi Ruffell

They all laughed They all clapped that was lovely and then I'd get in the car For the journey home and I'd go on to Instagram and I'd need people to tell me again how great I am I was like this is insane

like the moment they all laughed yeah they all clapped it's the most honest instant feedback you'll ever get absolutely but then it was like well that that well can never be full yeah if i need to if i've just been told that i did a great show and then i need to them to tell me in a different way through a different medium all your

going to possibly get out of that that you didn't get in the room is the one person in the back left hand corner who you didn't say you didn't like it who maybe is going to tell you that you that they didn't or i don't need that in my life or i'll just go there's 400 people in tonight and they all up they but i've only had 10 messages yeah and you go that's insane i know i can't yeah we can't live like this why aren't they telling me it's okay yeah like how much can how much can i be told that i'm

I don't even know what the percentage on that is what 0.4% kickback oh my god yeah but it's crazy it's like you can't I think that I mean I don't know if it's the same with you Chris doing like stand up stand like whether like it's it's so much

So much of my stand up and maybe the same for you, Rosie, like so much of my self-worth has always been so heavily linked to my career.

Yeah.

That like I got to a stage where I was like, I really need to like not make this like it.

It needs to I need to do like the show, be proud of the show.

The show is the work and then kind of everything that happens around that.

I think let's go deep.

Let's go deep.

No, I think that...

I think that, yeah, my worth has always been the price other people have given me.

Right.

And so I, but, you know, I have had to sort of work out how to not do that.

I mean, this isn't an invitation, by the way, listeners, if you've ever seen me and not liked me.

But I've rarely had sort of anyone being like, you're terrible at stand-up, even though I'm sure some people don't like what I do.

But I've never really had that.

The only stuff that I've ever got is like sort of really horrible homophobia.

And so that's sort of the weird thing of like...