Suzy Miller
speaker
65 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Mar 2025
last heard Mar 2025
Suzy Miller’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And whether that's through telepathy or through spelling, once you ask them what they need, if you follow that, that's where you're going to get the most success in their life. ability to integrate.
I truly believe that every single autistic individual is able to learn to spell. It's really just a matter of first creating an invitation. for them to be maybe a little bit more present in their bodies so that they can go about pointing and spelling.
I mean, if you have a child 24-7 that's screaming and yelling and doing things that most kids don't do as repetitively as these kids do, you're just managing, right? Most people are just managing. It's really just a matter of first creating an invitation for them to be maybe a little bit more present in their bodies so that they can go about pointing and spelling. So how do we do that?
We do that by creating environments that are soothing. If we can take time, to settle back into ourselves. If we can give ourselves a moment of peace, a little moment of meditation, getting outside and connecting with nature, even listening to music that just uplifts our frequency a little bit. choosing to pay attention to things that are lighter in nature instead of heavier.
And it does take some practice if you've been in that world of management. But the minute we start lightening up, every single time it will lighten up these kids.
Absolutely. Again, these kids read minds. It really is helpful to just believe in the capacity instead of making statements, starting to have questions. And if we just, even just a few moments a day, kind of go, well, I wonder what else is possible. That starts to loosen up the energy a little bit. It starts to loosen up what we're broadcasting. And the kids feel it immediately.
The other thing that I have told, especially teachers over the years, and this works just as well for a parent as it does for an educator, take the child and write down what they typically hear themselves say about the kids. Like, these are all the words that I use to describe this child. They get a really good idea of what kind of information is being broadcast to the kids. All the time.
These kids read minds. They're paying attention to those thoughts. And if we just even just a few moments a day kind of go, well, I wonder what else is possible. Well, what if it's what if it can be this instead of that? Instead of making statements, starting to have questions, even just a few moments a day, kind of go, well, I wonder what else is possible.
That starts to loosen up the energy a little bit. It starts to loosen up what we're broadcasting. And the kids feel it immediately. So we can write that list of all of those words that we use to describe these kids and then flip it over and write the list that you wish you could use. What are those words that you would really like to be able to say? Oh, he's so joyful. He's so excited.
He's learning so well, whatever those things are. And just read it. Wake up in the morning and read it. It just resets the expectation for the day. And it's really amazing what can happen when just that subtle change is made.
I think that the other side of this, Kai, is how many people actually ask a parent, how is this for you? You know, what is this like? What are you actually feeling? I mean, there's very little... opportunity for these parents to be able to share what the experience is actually like and not only that you know they're constantly having to push to get their child the services they need.
So it's like full-on warrior mode, you know, from pretty much diagnosis throughout their lives. And so I usually start a session with just like, where are we? How are we feeling? What's going on? Just starting there, I think, is huge. The other thing that I will say is is the kids also suggest often that parents just take care of themselves.
And I know that that sounds like, you know, it sounds like a nice thing to say. And sometimes it can even sound kind of patronizing, you know, in some ways. But think about it. If the parent never has a break, if the parent never has an opportunity to go have a cup of coffee with a friend or go do something, then that parent is going to be stressed.
And if that stress is what's being broadcast from the parent, then the child is going to be a little bit more dysregulated. I get a lot of kids that say, Mom, be nice to yourself. Mom, love yourself. Give yourself some credit. You're doing an amazing job. Those kinds of moments really need to be recognized, I think.
I think number one is the minute they go into that space of not communicating anymore, to see that as part of their integration process instead of seeing it as something wrong. And I know once you've got communication with your kids, you just want it to keep going on and on. But there does seem to be a little bit of an ebb and flow where the communication is just flowing. They're regulated.
They can move that information right out through the board. And there can be other times when there's so much information that's starting to come in that they just start to back up. And it's not a bad thing. It's almost like they're trying to self-regulate or self-soothe in that regard.
The other thing that I do see a lot too is sometimes when a lot of information starts coming through, of course, we're so excited that we start asking a million questions and we want more information. And sometimes that excess of excitement energy is enough to kind of go, oh, it's like that's too much. I can't do it. So they will slow down. that way as well.
But it's a natural and organic part of the process. If we can stay out of the fear that they're regressing, then usually they'll move through that fairly quickly. And there are rare occasions, or maybe not so rare sometimes, where the kids do finally understand that they're being heard and seen and valued and they get real excited about that.
And they start sharing information that might be more than the parent is actually ready for or the spelling partner is ready for. And if they start saying something that might be a little bit, you know, outside of the range of the norm or, you then if they get that feedback that, ooh, that was too much, they might slow down that way as well.
So there can be a variety of reasons, but we'll keep it in the context of it's all normal. It's all part of the process.
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