Suzy Miller
speaker
65 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Mar 2025
last heard Mar 2025
Suzy Miller’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Authenticity of communication, I think, is huge. Most parents are really taught when you feel bad, you just tell your kids you're doing great so that they don't worry or that kind of thing. Where that might work for a neurotypical kid to a certain extent doesn't work at all for somebody diagnosed on the spectrum because they're so privy to our inner worlds.
As human beings, all of us, we need ways to regulate ourselves. our own emotional bodies we need tools in our toolbox to move through stressful times without those tools we as adults revert back to our own fears and anxieties and stresses and the minute that energy is up
Then, of course, somebody who's so tuned into the subtle worlds and that vibrational change, it's just they're getting an influx of that kind of energy and it's difficult to regulate. So if we're coming in and we've had a bad day, to actually just say that, to have the words actually match the feeling is so helpful for an autistic individual because then they're not trying to figure out
that energy.
And the other side of it is the opportunity to say, Yes, I'm a little bit scared right now, or I'm a little bit overwhelmed. And this is hard. You know, you're not saying you're making it hard. You're not pointing at your kids and making them wrong for it. You're just saying, I'm owning my feelings. And then we get the opportunity to show them that no matter what feeling you're having, it's okay.
A lot of kids on the spectrum, they don't like when people cry or they don't like when people have really strong emotion. I don't think it's the emotion itself. I think it's the fact that there's no way to deal with the emotion.
And if we can just say, yeah, this is how I'm feeling and I need to be by myself for a minute or I need to... And a lot of parents say to me, oh, my kid's never going to leave me alone. You know, they would never give me that space. But I always tell them, try it. Just say it. Say it out loud. Own it. And usually that child all of a sudden changes and is trying to comfort that parent.
And it's a-okay that they do that.
There's just an innate... I mean, we share DNA, we share behavioral experiences. So absolutely, telepathy is something that is very easy. But again, if we're stressed, if we're overwhelmed, if nobody has ever taught us to listen to our own cues in our body, How are we going to pay attention to some of those more subtle experiences?
I'm all for getting the parents' support in regulating as much as they can, feeling as loved and nurtured and supported as they possibly can, because that in and of itself will open up the telepathy. Other thing I tell parents all the time is just say to your child, just verbally say, I would really like to enter your world. I'd really like to know what's going on for you.
Can you find a way to help me open up? And usually when people verbally say that to their kids, of course, their kids are Understanding every single thing that's being said. So whether it's through dreams or kind of an intuitive hit or literally hearing their child's voice, you know, in their heads or in their hearts. Sometimes you just have to say that that's what you want.
The minute the child knows that you're open and receptive, I promise you they're going to find ways to make that connection happen. That's music to their ears.
It's true. And the other thing that happens too, Kai, is if you have a child who's not verbally communicating back to you, not giving you that feedback, I mean, it's human nature for us to stop talking too. Like we literally stop verbally communicating. And I tell parents all the time too, it's like, just say out loud that, you know, what you're noticing.
So I notice that you're looking up at the ceiling all the time and you seem to be seeing something that I can't see. I wish I could see that too. Or I know that there's a lot going on inside of you. And I know that you have all your own thoughts and your own feelings and your masteries and everything else. And as your mother, as your parent, I really wish I could be part of that world.
You're making these sounds. And every time you make those sounds, my body feels like this. This is amazing feedback. It's not until we start literally saying back to them, this is my experience of you. This is what it looks like from my vantage point. What's going on for you? Can you help me clarify that?
The moment that that opportunity is opened up, I promise you that these kids are going to find a way to make that connection happen. And it happens in the most unusual ways sometimes. And you talked about it in the telepathy tapes through dreams and like literally hearing the kid's voice in your head. So yeah, they'll find a way, especially when they know that we're trying.
Over the years, I've had a lot of parents say to me, especially when they're really hurting, they'll say, well, you're not the parent of a child diagnosed with autism. And so you can't possibly fully understand. And no, I can't fully understand the day-to-day, but the benefit of having a little bit of distance...
and being able to look in, and to look in with a loving and compassionate heart, because I do adore these kids, that I think that opportunity is to kind of be able to stand back. You know, it's just not the same as that parent that, you know, I mean, what comes up? Like fear, guilt, shame, you know, why is this happening? What is this about? You know, there are all kinds of that kind of energy.
And we can understand it. But the fact is, is that energy absolutely can get in the way of making those kinds of connections.
Awesomism really takes a look at capacity. You know, it takes a look at all of those funny behaviors that for a neurotypical mind, you look at that and you kind of go, that's different, that's weird, that's odd. But what awesomism does is it breaks down all of those different behaviors, whether it be toe walking or flapping or screaming or anything in between, and just breaks normalizes it.
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