Tamsen Fadal

Nothing is wrong with me.

Nothing is wrong with you.

Grief moves more like an ocean than it does a calendar.

It ebbs and flows.

It can go real calm and quiet for stretches.

And then a wave comes and knocks you out flat.

It's not a sign you're not healing.

That's just kind of how this works.

And anybody that tells you it doesn't maybe hasn't been through this.

The second thing, we don't just move on.

I really believe we move forward.

And I've watched not just with my mom, but with my dad losing two wives in his lifetime.

We move forward.

Those two things sound similar, but they're actually completely different.

Moving on implies leaving her behind, like, okay, chapter closed, what's next?

Moving forward allows you to know you're gonna carry that person with you into every new thing.

So my mom doesn't get smaller as my life gets bigger.

She comes with me and I think about her at every significant moment.

Like she is there, just not how I would love her to be.

The third thing, and this is one that I have leaned on.