Tamsen Fadal

Like she is there, just not how I would love her to be.

The third thing, and this is one that I have leaned on.

I want you to say her name, talk about her, tell the stories.

As long as you're speaking her name and sharing who she was,

you are keeping something alive that does not have to die just because she did.

And you don't have to let go of that love in order to make room for new love too.

All those things coexist.

They really do.

And I feel like I've become living proof of that now.

I could never have seen that at 20 or 25 or 30.

Like I was...

I just couldn't have seen it.

I actually tried to ignore that pain and cover it up with other things.

And it wasn't until I really worked through it and I worked through it with a therapist and I've done some different things to really understand all that and not feel so angry.

Grief and happiness can live in the same house.

And it's interesting, Wendy Suzuki, a neuroscientist who has been on the show, said this to me, and I never forgot this.

She lost her father and her brother within months of each other.

I cannot even imagine.

And she said that what she realized through the grief was that she couldn't feel that depth of pain without there having been that depth of love.

Think about that.