Tamsen Fadal

That could be a therapist.

That could be your community of women right now.

Then there's protection.

That's somebody that's in your corner that helps you kind of feel safe in the world.

And then finally, the third one, guidance.

Maybe it's an older woman who helps you think through your choices and allows you to trust your instincts more.

That's also available too if you're looking for it.

Maybe that comes in the form of a friend you haven't talked to in a long time.

You pick up the phone and then they just kind of know you and they're there for you.

And I think about that.

I've had people that have given me all three of those things in the absence of my own mother.

Women who have shown up in that role

Not people I've predicted.

A colleague who checked on me more than she had any obligation to do.

That was during my divorce.

I had a therapist who helped me really understand myself and put things into place.

I have friends who have become family.

They're with me on holidays every year.

It didn't mean I replaced my mom.

You don't replace your mother, but you can build something that holds you in some of those ways.