Tamsen Fadal

And we confuse being chosen with being loved because we've been so conditioned over time to believe his yes is proof of our worth.

Here's the truth though.

Validation is a hit, not a foundation.

It makes you feel good for just a second,

a little longer, but it's not gonna sustain you.

So how do you break it?

You start dating with a filter, not just hope.

Here's what I mean by that.

There's a few things I want you to think about and maybe do.

So the first one, before the date, write down three non-negotiables.

I know it sounds silly, we ask you to make lists all the time, but I want you to really do it so you can see it.

And not his job, not his height, not his resume, but how you actually wanna feel.

Here were mine.

I wanted to feel safe.

I wanted to feel seen.

I wanted to feel like I could totally be myself and I wasn't putting on airs or performing.

If those three weren't there, then it didn't matter how much he liked me.

The second thing, during the date, I want you to check in with your body.

Did your shoulders drop?

Did you feel that like pit in your stomach?