Tamsen Fadal

Were you tense the whole time?

Or did you leave like energized?

Or did you leave drained?

Your nervous system is going to tell you way more truth than his text will ever tell you.

So kind of check in with your body all through it.

Even if you have to get up, excuse yourself, go to the bathroom.

I want you to figure out how you're feeling.

And then number three, after the date, flip the question.

Not, does he like me?

Do I like him?

Do I like who I was when I was with him?

When you start really practicing this, you're going to stop auditioning and you're going to start evaluating things for yourself.

You're going to stop measuring yourself by whether or not you're wanted.

And you can technically use this in any relationship, but you're going to start measuring whether or not you've actually connected with the person.

Here's the shift.

When you stop chasing that validation – and it took me a long time to do this –

you reclaim the power to choose.

And that's when dating stops being a performance and starts being a search for a real relationship and for lasting love.

Mistake number two, dating with a timeline and not a compass.

And you know how much I talk about timelines.