Tamsen Fadal

I cannot tell you how many women sat across from

And they whisper some version of this.

I need to meet somebody by the end of this year.

I want to be married by 35.

I want to have kids by 38.

I get it.

I lived it.

In my 30s, I was not dating with curiosity or with joy.

I was panic dating, if that's a thing.

Every birthday felt like this countdown.

Every wedding invitation reminded me how far I was behind because I had focused so much on my career.

And instead of asking, is this the right person for me?

I was asking, will this relationship keep me on track?

Is it okay for right now?

The truth is, when you're ruled by a timeline, any timeline, you stop listening to yourself.

So I ignored red flags because I was so focused on checking these mental boxes.

And I was more in love with the milestone of being married

than I was with the man I was marrying, sadly.

And that's what a timeline does.

It literally turns you into somebody who settles, not because you don't know better, because I believe you do, but because you're terrified of running out of time.