Tere Figueras Negrete

So how many of you guys have experienced the magical wonderland that is Miami-Dade public transportation system?

So I take the train every day from Civic Center on my way home.

So the other day, like normal, we are chugging along southbound when all of a sudden the train rolls to an ominous stop.

No big deal, it happens.

But we all kind of look up from our cell phones, see what's going on, when all of a sudden a woman yells, oh my God, there's a man on the tracks.

Sure enough, there's a guy, normal looking guy, kind of looks like Alton Brown.

It is not Alton Brown, but he's like booking it down the tracks.

We hear helicopters in the distance, police sirens.

I found out later that this guy was shoplifting at Merrick Park and Coral Gables Police have launched like this

SEAL Team Six level manhunt, because, you know, like, Coral Gables, right?

So we are stuck on this train with no power until they catch this guy for three hours.

It is a dismal hellscape.

There is no air conditioning.

There's, like, babies crying.

Why are there so many babies on the train?

The conductor keeps wandering in with these, like, sassy but unhelpful updates.

Like, I think that guy must be smoking a flaca.

Like, not useful information.

So I decided to make the best of it and introduce myself to my neighbors.

On one side there is Tony, a very cool 20-something who I assume is either like a DJ or a graphic designer.