Terry Gross

And that's why you use the word criminalized, because you were treated like a criminal, not like somebody who was asking for help to save their life.

Now, your parents, when they were younger, they were both police officers.

My guest is Rachel Eliza Griffiths.

Her new memoir is called The Flower Bearers.

If you or someone you know may be considering suicide or is in crisis, you can call or text for help at 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

That's 988.

We'll talk more after a short break.

This is Fresh Air.

Let's talk about another turning point in your life.

You've had some pretty difficult turning points.

And the one I'm referring to now is your mother's death.

She was diagnosed with kidney disease when you were 11 or 12.

You found her in bed one morning with blood dripping from her eyes, which was very traumatic for you.

In addition to being traumatic for her, she had a kidney transplant that

How did it affect her ability to take care of you and your siblings once she got sick?

I will add here, you loved her, she loved you.

But you say in your memoir, you know, that as with many mother-daughter relationships, you were also very angry with her a lot of the time.

And that in expressing her love, she also felt free to harshly criticize you in ways that made you doubt your own capabilities.

And that she also had a way of damaging the people that she loved.

Can you explain a little bit more about what you mean about that?